u/Alexray35

Hey guys, I just wanted to share a bit of what I'm going through and hopefully get some advice. I just found this sub, and itt's the first time I'm posting here.

For context, I have been trying to figure out whether or not I'm aromantic for years now. I feel like I never quite like other people the same way they do, I don't feel the burning passion, the crave to spend a whole life together, etc. And while not sure if I truly am aro, I have been using the lable simply to avoid having to explain everyone how I feel in detail.

Recently I started hooking up with a friend, and our deal from the start was always that neither of us was looking for something serious. They got out of a years-long relationship that ended very poorly, and I had my own troubled situationships as well. We've talked about how we don't want to lead each other on.

In a way they felt safe being with me because they knew I would never want more than this.

However recently I think how I feel about them started to change, I would joke about wanting them just for myself but I think they never thought much of it, just me being jealous as a joke.

A couple days ago they told me they had kissed someone else, and I felt a knot thighing on my chest. I felt scared. I talked with them about it, how sad it made me feel. They apologized though I reassured them they had done nothing wrong.

I realized I was scared of loosing them. For the first time, I'm close to someone and things just feel okay? Not scary. I don't feel like I'm walking on glass or that something bad will happen at any moment. They're kind, they're patient, they're honest, I think about them often.

However, when I asked if we could be exclusive they said they didn't want it. It's weird to want something that isn't serious but also is exclusive right?

I'm going to end things with them and go back to just being friends, I think that's the right thing to do, but I can't help but doubt myself (maybe because I don't want to let go)

What if I'm overreacting? What if things had actually become exclusive and I realized that's not what I wanted? How do I know I actually want something exclusive with this person, and I'm not just feeling like this because they're the first person to "treat" me right?

So that's it, I'd like to know if anyone who's saw themselves as aro has also experienced something like this for someone.