u/Alive_Bowler_8037

I got diagnosed a week ago, i spent so much time and effort on getting tested now that i'm diagnosed with autism and adhd i feel so confused and empty.

I'm still very emotional about it and basically reliving the last 20 years of my life, i know i can't change the past but i can't help but feel so sorry for the way my parents/peers/therapists/doctors treated child-me.

Anyways, what's next?
I already told my parents and friends, they're mostly supportive.
Did you tell Uni/workplace and ask for accommodations?
Do you usually tell people you meet?
I feel like they notice i'm acting "weird" anyway so i might as well just tell them, noticed it makes unmasking easier too (like i don't watch my tone or facial expressions as much).

i'm so relieved and happy and so emotional right now...
i've been diagnosed with depression/anxiety years ago, struggling since i was 12.
now i finally got my autism and adhd diagnosis after one year of doubting and reading everything about autism/adhd. War is over
i finally feel understood

I had a few situations later especially in uni group projects where i don't really understand other people's thoughts/questions so i ask "what do you mean?" or "can you please explain that to me again?" in a (i think) nice tone. People seem irritated or upset about that or get defensive... why?
how can i ask for clarification in a nicer way?