u/Alone-Chemistry-2391

30M 26F God save me from a divorced and heartbreak

God works in mysterious way

I’m a 30M and after almost 8 months of arranged marriage searching, I finally found a 26F match who genuinely felt perfect for me. Families knew each other, everything looked smooth, and for the first time I thought, “This is it.”

Our first meeting was slightly awkward but overall good. We both said yes and families got excited quickly.

During our second meet, while talking about work, she mentioned one particular male colleague multiple times. I noticed her eyes literally light up while speaking about him. It made me slightly uncomfortable, but I ignored it thinking maybe I was overthinking.

Third meeting was honestly beautiful. I travelled to her city with flowers — the first time I had ever bought flowers for a woman. We spent hours talking, vibes were amazing, and she even gave me a farewell gift. At that moment I genuinely thought I had found my future wife.

But later during our conversation, she casually mentioned that the same colleague she kept talking about had been on leave all this time and was returning that week. That’s when something clicked in my mind. Suddenly the timing of her extra attention and emotional availability started making more sense to me.

Then came the fourth meeting.

I went fully prepared — best clothes, good restaurant, flowers again — but when I met her, she seemed mentally absent. Completely distracted. When I asked what happened, she told me she had fought with that colleague because he was talking to another female coworker and apparently said something she didn’t like.

At that point I realised she was emotionally way too invested in this guy.

Still, like many people do when they really want something to work, I ignored the red flag and comforted her instead.

Later, while I was returning home by train, she didn’t even text once asking if I reached safely. Two days passed with almost no effort from her side.

Then during another call, she started talking about a female colleague who was allegedly having an affair despite being engaged. While discussing it, she carefully observed my reactions and then randomly said:
“Even after marriage, you may also like someone else someday, like Jethalal likes Babita ji.”

That sentence hit me differently.

It genuinely felt less like a joke and more like someone trying to normalize emotional attachment outside marriage.

Meanwhile, our families were discussing dates and future plans seriously. Then suddenly her mother called my mother and said they don’t want her to marry for at least 2 more years because she wants to focus on earning and spending her own money first.

That created tension between families and eventually the marriage proposal broke off completely.

Honestly, my heart sank for 2 weeks. I had emotionally invested myself. But after some distance, I genuinely feel God protected me from something that may have hurt much more later.

Sometimes rejection is not punishment.
Sometimes it’s protection.

So if something breaks despite you giving your genuine effort, don’t always assume life is being unfair. Sometimes you’re simply being redirected away from the wrong situation.

TL;DR:

After 8 months of arranged marriage searching, I found a girl who seemed perfect and both families got serious quickly. But over multiple meetings, I noticed she was emotionally heavily invested in a male colleague from work. Whenever he was around, her energy towards me changed completely.

I ignored several red flags because I genuinely wanted things to work. Eventually, her family suddenly backed out saying she doesn’t want to marry for 2 years.

It broke me for a couple of weeks, but later I realised sometimes failed relationships are actually protection in disguise.

God removes certain people from your life for a reason.

reddit.com
u/Alone-Chemistry-2391 — 5 days ago

God works in a mysterious way

I’m a 30M and after almost 8 months of arranged marriage searching, I finally found a 26F match who genuinely felt perfect for me. Families knew each other, everything looked smooth, and for the first time I thought, “This is it.”

Our first meeting was slightly awkward but overall good. We both said yes and families got excited quickly.

During our second meet, while talking about work, she mentioned one particular male colleague multiple times. I noticed her eyes literally light up while speaking about him. It made me slightly uncomfortable, but I ignored it thinking maybe I was overthinking.

Third meeting was honestly beautiful. I travelled to her city with flowers — the first time I had ever bought flowers for a woman. We spent hours talking, vibes were amazing, and she even gave me a farewell gift. At that moment I genuinely thought I had found my future wife.

But later during our conversation, she casually mentioned that the same colleague she kept talking about had been on leave all this time and was returning that week. That’s when something clicked in my mind. Suddenly the timing of her extra attention and emotional availability started making more sense to me.

Then came the fourth meeting.

I went fully prepared — best clothes, good restaurant, flowers again — but when I met her, she seemed mentally absent. Completely distracted. When I asked what happened, she told me she had fought with that colleague because he was talking to another female coworker and apparently said something she didn’t like.

At that point I realised she was emotionally way too invested in this guy.

Still, like many people do when they really want something to work, I ignored the red flag and comforted her instead.

Later, while I was returning home by train, she didn’t even text once asking if I reached safely. Two days passed with almost no effort from her side.

Then during another call, she started talking about a female colleague who was allegedly having an affair despite being engaged. While discussing it, she carefully observed my reactions and then randomly said:
“Even after marriage, you may also like someone else someday, like Jethalal likes Babita ji.”

That sentence hit me differently.

It genuinely felt less like a joke and more like someone trying to normalize emotional attachment outside marriage.

Meanwhile, our families were discussing dates and future plans seriously. Then suddenly her mother called my mother and said they don’t want her to marry for at least 2 more years because she wants to focus on earning and spending her own money on her marriage.

That created tension between families and eventually the marriage proposal broke off completely.

Honestly, my heart sank for 2 weeks. I had emotionally invested myself for 4 months. I uninstalled all the matrimony apps and all. But after some distance, I genuinely feel God protected me from something that may have hurt much more later.

Sometimes rejection is not punishment.
Sometimes it’s protection.

So if something breaks despite you giving your genuine effort, don’t always assume life is being unfair. Sometimes you’re simply being redirected away from the wrong situation. God is protecting you and he will take care of you cause you are honest and genuine

TL;DR:

After 8 months of arranged marriage searching, I found a girl who seemed perfect and both families got serious quickly. But over multiple meetings, I noticed she was emotionally heavily invested in a male colleague from work. Whenever he was around, her energy towards me changed completely.

I ignored several red flags because I genuinely wanted things to work. Eventually, her family suddenly backed out saying she doesn’t want to marry for 2 years.

It broke me for a couple of weeks, but later I realised sometimes failed relationships are actually protection in disguise.

God removes certain people from your life for a reason.

reddit.com
u/Alone-Chemistry-2391 — 5 days ago

Rejected a perfect match over height. Regretting it now.

Started searching for an AM match around October 2025 and the second match I met was this girl whose family originally belonged to our village, though she worked in the city.

Honestly, I only met her because my family pushed me to. We met on a Saturday. The vibe was genuinely good, conversation flowed naturally, and she even asked if we could meet casually a second time.

But I rejected her.

Why?

Because her height was shorter than what I had imagined, and our patrika didn’t match perfectly. At that time I was completely new to arranged marriage and under a lot of family pressure, so I made a decision way too quickly without actually understanding compatibility.

We still followed each other on Instagram, and over time I slowly realized how similar we actually were.
We liked the same things:

- same movies
- same travel destinations
- both introverts
- both into swimming and workouts
- both followed a healthy lifestyle with no smoking/drinking
- both comfortable doing things like watching movies alone

The more I noticed these similarities, the more I realized I probably rejected someone who was actually very compatible with me.

Today she’s getting married to a good guy, and here I am writing this post alone during my office lunch break.

I think AM teaches some lessons the hard way.

Never judge someone too quickly based on height, horoscope, or checklist mentality. Compatibility and peace matter much more than I understood back then.

reddit.com
u/Alone-Chemistry-2391 — 16 days ago