u/AltPastFutures

It’s Saturday night and I’m the last woman of my friend group to be single. Well I’ve always been single so being the last one standing was always imminent.

I would like to date, or at least figure out why I can keep several friends of various genders, but I can’t seem to keep someone interested enough romantically.

Maybe we can chat and you can tell me? It’s tiring enough to constantly hear platitudes like “when you’re not looking you’ll find someone”, or “just go on dating apps, you’ll be bound to find someone!!”, or “just groups/clubs/volunteer” when I’ve done all of those things, and more. I’ve traveled around my country, I’ve traveled to other countries, I’ve waited to get asked out (haha, nothing), I’ve asked men out (0/10 success rate) and still no connection.

Meanwhile my male friends are some of the loveliest people (all partnered unfortunately), and I value my relationships with them (they also can’t really help me out in this department because they just say “I’m great and I’ll find someone”. Not really constructive.

I really yearn to make someone happy, to share this long wonderful life with them, and if it’s in the cards for us, a child. Of course I can’t force someone to be with me, but maybe you can shine some light on why I don’t seem to capture that romantic energy in some. So please help?

This may be an absolute hot take, but I’m just trying to casually read some of these posts for a new easy breezy chat friend and half of these posts are people droning on about being single parents, their impending divorces, and how horrible their lives are.

Look, that sucks, sorry to hear that, we all make bad choices, but I’m here to make a new friend not be your free therapist.

Not saying people have to be perfect to make a new friend but ffs talking about what bands you enjoy, or the books you’ve read is a much better post and opener than pouring out your life story, and why you’re getting a divorce in the first message!! Seriously, step out of yourself for a moment, read your post. Do you even want to be your own friend right now?

Things to talk about in a seeking new friends post:

- who you are (outside of your failing marriage and kids);

- what kind of music you like (no I don’t mean what your soon-to-be ex wife listens to);

- moments in your life that made you feel genuine joy and happiness;

- how much you love your children

What NOT to talk about:

- your divorce;

- why you hate your wife;

- your divorce;

- your soon-to-be ex-wife;

- your divorce!

If you are still so overcome with grief that you must absolutely burden someone with talk about your failing marriage there are licensed and paid professionals who can assist you through talking out those feelings. It’s not here though!!!