u/AltruisticCompote248

I am a man and I have full custody of my two children. my ex wife has visitation rights one weekend a month, spring and summer break, and every other Christmas and thanksgiving giving.

I make a decent living as a medical resident but will be making more once I finish residency. i out earn my ex with this alone, but I have also remarried and my new wife is very successful and makes about as much as I will when I start working my medical practice.

the reasons for my divorce are multifactorial but the main reason was that she’s an alcoholic and suffers from lots of mental health issues and was always paranoid that i was cheating on her.

i waived child support in my initial divorce decree because when we split, she made $0 and I just used it as a tactic to get everything I wanted in the divorce, (you want half my retirement account? okay I’ll take child support) that kind of thing.

now my ex is working and honestly doing much better for herself. my current wife says I should file. I in my heart believe that the kids should know that their mom is helping support them. but for some reason I feel guilty about it, like I’m going back on my word that I gave when the decree was written. or maybe I’m in the mindset that I’ve done this all without her and I don’t want to file because I don’t need her.

should I feel guilty?

I have a 5 year old son from my prior marriage. I just married my now wife last month after having dated since 2023. prior to marriage she brought up concerns that she didn’t like how I parented him. I will start by saying that he is a whiny child. I dont know why, but he has always whined and pouted when he doesn’t get what he wants. this behavior, and my reaction to it, has now severely turned my wife off to him and now to me. For additional context, I also have a 3yo daughter that my wife adores because she doesn’t share the whiny personality trait.

a brief couple of examples that have happened the last couple of nights. I made dinner yesterday and the rule is, if you don’t finish dinner, no snacks or treats, but if you get hungry you can eat your dinner. He refused dinner so when bedtime was getting close he said he was hungry and wanted a snack. I held to the rule and told him that if he wanted to eat, he could eat dinner. He proceeded to whine and pout while I went and gave my daughter a bath. eventually he ate his food after a big battle and we got ready and went to bed.

today at dinner as part of the meal I heated up a can of corn. To my surprise, he asked for a carrot instead. He then proceeded to eat most of a full sized raw carrot. He ate that along with everything but his corn, and because he ate a real vegetable I told him he didn’t need to eat his corn. both kids were given a snack before bed because they ate all that I told them to.

my Wife said she’s upset with me for the first evening because I let him leave the table and play a game on my ipad before he finished eating. She’s mad at me tonight because I let him pass on his corn because he ate a carrot instead.

I know that I can’t encompass the entirety of our relationship in one post, but I genuinely don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong these past couple of nights but she’s so tired of his whining that she avoids him and seems genuinely unhappy when he’s around.

I don’t know what to do. I love my wife and I love my son. the Whining is annoying to me too but I just have thought that is just part of being a kid And that it will resolve itself one day. My wife on the other had believes he is the way that he is because of how I’ve raised him. But again, I raised my daughter and she’s nothing like that.

I don’t know if my rambling makes sense but I just don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.