u/Altruistic_Two1338

The whisper method works guys wtf. I felt odd after and felt like I hadn’t done it right but lo and behold I got my text message the next day.

I (F21) have just "finished" my second year of university. I failed my first year, took it again and passed everything. Moving into second year, I've struggled so much personally and with the course in general. I deferred most of my important exams and passed all but one. I have about 7 to sit in August and I am just burnt out, I hate my course and I wish I could drop out. But, honestly, I don't want to be a failure. I've already sat 3 years worth of university debt, dropping out would put me nowhere special. I didn't do very well in my A-levels (BBC), it is actually shocking I got into such a good course (accounting and finance) at a prestige university. I've just gotten to the end of my tether and I'm unsure if I will even be able to pass all these exams that are realistically going to be crammed into a week duration. It might be relevant to include that I have had a consistent battle with severe depression and anxiety since 17. I just feel so lost, I don't know what to do, I want to continue and see this out but what if I'm simply just not smart enough?

I have been suffering with depression/anxiety since I was 17 (4 years) and have been on and off several medications in my time. I always either find myself completely numbed or 'well enough' to be off of it. I came off of Escitalopram 3 months ago and is has been hell, I stopped cold turkey the withdrawals were insane. I feel the most depressed I have ever felt recently, I don't remember days, I am always irritated, I can't be asked to do another medication and I don't even know what I'd say to my therapist. I hate myself honestly, I am in a relationship that makes me want to just give up but I won't leave?? i do believe I am being emotionally abuse and still won't leave?? I don't understand myself and I just don't know what to do it is like I enjoy making myself suffer. I don't want to go to uni anymore I don't even want to watch tv or scroll tiktok I just want to sleep. Can someone please send me some advice or some positivity?