u/AlwaysTiredAndAlone

Was at a science-y event recently and was mistaken to be trans fem... But they were trying to be transphobic by calling me he/him lol, I kinda just looked at them and they, all smug, we're like "well, you're not making much effort with that beard, love. Can't expect people to think you're a woman if you miss spots when you're shaving." Bruh. I'm not even on t yet haha, but I'm androgynous enough to be stealth irl so I was like "oh, I'm not trying to be a woman. My name's [my legally changed, bog standard male name]." And I held my hand out for a handshake BC it disarms them so well to be a gentleman hehe.

Fucking sucks ass that the ladies here get that kinda shit (BC if those people were doing that to me, they clearly feel confident to do it to others) but maybe it'll show them that just because someone has long hair and a scruffy, patchy beard doesn't always mean they're an early transition mtf and so those bastards need to shut their mouths before some lad of a bigger build knocks them into next week.

I love being a scientist, I hate that science is such a conservative career. Basic levels of respect shouldn't need to be taught but here we are...

For context, I'm a pre-med trans man with Dysmenorrhoea, Menoragia, anovulatory bleeding and clear but undiagnosed intersex stuff going on. I live in the UK.

So, I was in hospital recently for severe lower left (and all the way across but especially on the left side) abdominal pain. It's not menstrual and I'm pooping normally but the guy at A&E decided it must be an ovarian cyst even tho I've had ultrasounds done multiple times and they've always come back clear besides 1 singular follicle once being flagged but that ended up fine.

The doc said "the only other explanation could be diverticulitis, but you're much too young for that, so don't worry" yet a bunch of young people (with and without hEDS) are now being diagnosed with it and hEDS causes a higher risk BC the collagen is defective and the connective tissues suck ass.

I've had yet another ultrasound booked for my ovaries but I honestly think this is just diverticulitis... I had a week of absolutely no poop early last month, then a good spell, then a full week of pain that's been keeping me up at night (and still is) so I went to hospital after waiting to see if it was PMS (which it isn't) so wtf do I do?

Do I go into the ultrasound and be like "the guy mentioned diverticulitis and I have hEDS so I know I'm at a higher risk of that, is this ultrasound for that?" Even tho I know it's for my repro system? Or do I just wait until the scans come back clear (BC we all fucking know they will if the last 6 were, jfc)? What do I do here?

I can't go to my GP BC I've been waiting literal months for even a fucking call back about getting referred to rheumatology even tho I've been diagnosed for over a year, along with all the meds the specialists I HAVE been referred to, want me on, all have yet to be approved and prescribed... What do I do? Genuinely.

Is it a "bring it up at the appt" thing or "wait for the clear scans and go back"? BC if I wait, that's probably gonna be another week of pain where I can't take NSAIDs or opioids to be able to sleep BC of all the fucking risks...

Jesus Christ, I wish the NHS worked better...

Like, I'm pretty trad masc BC that's the style I find comfy but it makes people think I'm butch even if I let what facial hair I have grow out??? It makes no sense. I was in like Johnny Depp inspired clothing (a button up short sleeve which was only half done up BC trans tape and body tape to hold the fabric on place, very low drop crotch pants, sandals and a wide brim hat with a bunch of jewelry BC it was warm and I wanted to look more gay than just jeans, t-shirt, flannel/leather jacket and boots...) but even without the trad masc clothing, I got lesbians coming up to me... When I had that Larry Johnson (Sally Face) beard. Like what??? What can I do? Do I just go in a fucking crop top or some shit? Bruh... Mind you, I'm stealth trans so... But like, I'm literally sat there with the mlm flag as a pin and I'm still getting confused lesbians hitting on me... Ughhhhhhhh bro help. I wanna find a boyfriend to dote on, not some random lesbian that has no idea what she's actually looking at FFS... Like, what else could I possibly do? If anything..?