u/Amazing-Ad-5103

I'm sick of it(my English isn't that good)

um ik hona hi tha mein hi dumb hu.

I have known a girl(18f) from 25(in the beginning of jan)so we r get in the love (dont confess but doing lil things like flirting lines)and meri anxiety issue ke karan wo mujhe june ke first week mein chorke chalii gayi but wo phele se hi mujhe hints de hi ja rhi thi,so ofc mene try kiya but mein kya hi kar sakta hu jis larki ko mein jus uski online id pe req spamm kardi(we met on game)usne yek baar acept nhi ki(100+kiya tha)

so wo manni hi nhi issi ke chalte mera neet khrab ho gya(sound awful but inshort itna hi hua tha)

actually mein guilt mein tha all this time ki "not being in love"...and issliye mene sarri self respect ki khod dii,usko pata nhi kitni baar manene ki koshish ki wo manni hi nhi .umm kitni baar please wagera bola but wo 16(M) se expect karti thi mein bhut jyda raheesh jyda and ofc mein late growth ka shikkar hu issliye usne mere se yesai bartab kiya(mein toh manta yehi hu)use mene jab ig pe msg kiya toh usne yek hafte baad reply diya aur bola ki"teri aukad kya"hai and more stuff

so mujhe really samgh nhi aa rha aage kya kru meinn..(mein padhai wagera mein above avg hu imean 80+wale londe)

so idk ab jabhi papa puchte hai ki konse collage jaaunga mein just numb ho jata hu(kyuki mein 11th mein badi chuar mein bolta tha ki mein mbbs karunga and now im here,

mene bhut baar syylbus pas rkha hai but pta nhi mujhe konse collage jau ya konse subject combination lu(pcb se hu)

im not"tht good" in eng.

I'm done with neet.