u/Amazing_Rest_9350

Writing from an alt account for privacy reasons.

Sorry for my English in advance, not my first language.

I'm here looking for advice and/or explanation.

I come upon daily mental torture done by my own mind in a weird way, and it's driving me insane every single day.

I don't know if this is a mental disorder and I haven't been able to reach a professional about this.

The concept of the issue is that on daily basis my brain is coming up with graphic ways to express normal things.

An example of things that I experience is my brain generating an outcome of an interaction I have with somebody. Just randomly talking to somebody may lead to my brain unwillingly imagining a short scenario where I stab or hurt the person I'm talking to, and displaying this interaction I my head in the span of 2-3 seconds. Of course I don't want to hurt anybody but my brain is manifesting this visually(transparent on my vision) and sometimes with sound(also really transparent). This also applies to myself, I can struggle with something and this thing just shows up with the visualization that killing myself is the easiest choice to not have the problem, it can also be spontaneous, like showing me a moment where I do self harm for no reason, or making up scenarios out of nowhere, showing me how different interactions can change based on some strange action like punching a loved one in the face while having a casual conversation.

And of course I would never do something like this, but my brain is just showing me a visualization on "what if" .

This can show in in all forms of crime and violence. A simular thing is that it purposely demotevates me on all activities that are considered positive in my wellbeing. Like, when im working on my startup, my brain just plays a visualization of me not succeeding and wasting my time, or me trying to attend an interesting activity, my mind just fights for me to not do it and do nothing. I know that it sounds like procrastination, but it is a way severe version with visuals and sound.

I've had this issue for quite a while as I remember, and it appears in random. I don't think that its connected to stress, excitement or something similar.

That's only a part of all things that may accur, but its still pretty annoying, and I'm scared that it will accelerate and I will commit an action that was displayed by my brain.

It kinda feels like there is a demon that's trying to fuck my life up, and I end up fighting him everyday.

I don't think that its altzheimers because I'm only 17, like its coming too soon.

To be honest I'm quite positive about my life and im having a blast, but that thing is quite annoying.

I would love to see an explanation for this.

Thank yall in advance.

Writing from an alt account for privacy reasons.

Sorry for my English in advance, not my first language.

I'm here looking for advice and/or explanation.

I come upon daily mental torture done by my own mind in a weird way, and it's driving me insane every single day.

I don't know if this is a mental disorder and I haven't been able to reach a professional about this.

The concept of the issue is that on daily basis my brain is coming up with graphic ways to express normal things.

An example of things that I experience is my brain generating an outcome of an interaction I have with somebody. Just randomly talking to somebody may lead to my brain unwillingly imagining a short scenario where I stab or hurt the person I'm talking to, and displaying this interaction I my head in the span of 2-3 seconds. Of course I don't want to hurt anybody but my brain is manifesting this visually(transparent on my vision) and sometimes with sound(also really transparent). This also applies to myself, I can struggle with something and this thing just shows up with the visualization that killing myself is the easiest choice to not have the problem, it can also be spontaneous, like showing me a moment where I do self harm for no reason, or making up scenarios out of nowhere, showing me how different interactions can change based on some strange action like punching a loved one in the face while having a casual conversation.

And of course I would never do something like this, but my brain is just showing me a visualization on "what if" .

This can show in in all forms of crime and violence. A simular thing is that it purposely demotevates me on all activities that are considered positive in my wellbeing. Like, when im working on my startup, my brain just plays a visualization of me not succeeding and wasting my time, or me trying to attend an interesting activity, my mind just fights for me to not do it and do nothing. I know that it sounds like procrastination, but it is a way severe version with visuals and sound.

I've had this issue for quite a while as I remember, and it appears in random. I don't think that its connected to stress, excitement or something similar.

That's only a part of all things that may accur, but its still pretty annoying, and I'm scared that it will accelerate and I will commit an action that was displayed by my brain.

It kinda feels like there is a demon that's trying to fuck my life up, and I end up fighting him everyday.

I don't think that its altzheimers because I'm only 17, like its coming too soon.

I would love to see an explanation for this.

Thank yall in advance.