u/AmbassadorDismal7270

I’m 39 years old and after around 16 years of full-time work, I’ve reached a point where I increasingly feel mentally disconnected from the whole “day job” system.

It’s not laziness. I’ve always worked hard, progressed in my career, saved/invested responsibly, and built a stable life. I own an apartment and garage, have savings/investments, and overall I’ve been financially disciplined throughout my adult life.

But over the years I’ve realised that what I truly want is freedom from the cycle of trading most of my time just to sustain the system itself. My goal is not early retirement to “do nothing,” but rather to completely step away from the day-job structure and dedicate my time towards things that genuinely matter to me — travel, experiences, personal interests, peace of mind, and simply living life in a more meaningful and less psychologically constrained way.

To make this possible, I’m seriously considering selling my current apartment and garage, paying off my loan, downsizing my lifestyle, buying a smaller place to live in, and another property to rent out so I can reduce dependency on employment and cover my basic long-term needs more independently.

Financially, the idea seems possible with compromises and careful planning.

The biggest struggle is psychological.

I’m emotionally attached to my current apartment because I designed it myself and I like the environment I live in. Part of me fears that moving somewhere “less nice” will feel like I downgraded in life or fell behind compared to others, including siblings/friends.

Logically, I know freedom, time, and inner peace should matter more than status or appearances. But emotionally I still struggle with the comparison aspect and fear of regret.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? Did restructuring your life and walking away from the traditional work system actually improve your wellbeing long term? And how did you overcome the feeling that you were “lowering your standards”?

I’m 39 years old and after around 16 years of full-time work, I’ve reached a point where I increasingly feel mentally disconnected from the whole “day job” system.

It’s not laziness. I’ve always worked hard, progressed in my career, saved/invested responsibly, and built a stable life. I own an apartment and garage, have savings/investments, and overall I’ve been financially disciplined throughout my adult life.

But over the years I’ve realised that what I truly want is freedom from the cycle of trading most of my time just to sustain the system itself. My goal is not early retirement to “do nothing,” but rather to completely step away from the day-job structure and dedicate my time towards things that genuinely matter to me — travel, experiences, personal interests, peace of mind, and simply living life in a more meaningful and less psychologically constrained way.

To make this possible, I’m seriously considering selling my current apartment and garage, paying off my loan, downsizing my lifestyle, buying a smaller place to live in, and another property to rent out so I can reduce dependency on employment and cover my basic long-term needs more independently.

Financially, the idea seems possible with compromises and careful planning.

The biggest struggle is psychological.

I’m emotionally attached to my current apartment because I designed it myself and I like the environment I live in. Part of me fears that moving somewhere “less nice” will feel like I downgraded in life or fell behind compared to others, including siblings/friends.

Logically, I know freedom, time, and inner peace should matter more than status or appearances. But emotionally I still struggle with the comparison aspect and fear of regret.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? Did restructuring your life and walking away from the traditional work system actually improve your wellbeing long term? And how did you overcome the feeling that you were “lowering your standards”?

I’m a 39-year-old man, single, living on my own. On paper, my life probably looks stable—maybe even ideal to some. But internally, it often feels like a constant struggle.

The main issue I deal with is a persistent lack of motivation. Almost everything I need to do—whether small or significant—requires a conscious push. Once I get past that initial mental barrier, I can build momentum and be productive. But getting started is almost always difficult.

I mentally categorize my responsibilities into five areas, and despite the effort it takes, I manage to stay fairly productive in most of them—except for my day job.

Work has always been a challenge for me, and it’s becoming more difficult as I get older. It feels like my mind is fundamentally resisting the idea of “working life.” I can’t fully explain why, but I do have some thoughts. When I reflect on it logically, I can point to aspects that, in my view, don’t make much sense—like dedicating large portions of time to things that feel meaningless, or working primarily to earn money just to maintain financial security. That said, I don’t think these thoughts are the root cause of how I feel, but rather something my mind uses to try to make sense of it. Overall, the concept of a traditional job often makes me feel trapped—almost imprisoned.

Another factor is that there isn’t a specific field or type of work that I feel genuinely drawn to. It’s not as simple as switching paths to something I’m passionate about—I don’t have a clear sense of what that would even be.

What makes this more confusing is that my current job situation is objectively quite good. I have a supportive and relaxed boss, no real pressure, a decent income, and a lot of flexibility, including working from home most days. Yet, when I’m supposed to be working remotely, I often struggle to engage and end up doing far less than I should—spending time sitting at my desk or lying in bed scrolling through social media. This has been going on for about two years. That said, it’s not that I’ve done nothing—there have been periods of meaningful productivity—but overall, my engagement has been inconsistent and well below where it should be.

I’m aware this isn’t ideal, ethically, professionally, or morally, but it’s the reality.

I’ve considered whether I’m simply in the wrong field, but I’m not convinced that’s the issue. Over the past 16 years, I’ve worked full-time across different roles, companies, industries, and setups. In many of those roles—especially where there was less autonomy and flexibility—I was productive, efficient, and performed relatively well. However, the underlying resistance toward the idea of a day job was always there, and it seems to have grown stronger over time. That’s why I feel the issue isn’t tied to a specific job, but something deeper about how I relate to work in general.

Because of this, I’ve spent years thinking about how to move away from the traditional work structure. I’ve explored various online income options and alternative paths, but none of them have really appealed to me.

Financially, I’m in a position where I could potentially step away from my job. Through years of disciplined saving and personal sacrifice, I’ve built up enough equity in property to pay off my mortgage and downsize to a smaller place. In a couple of months, my accumulated savings and investments should be at a point where they could generate income covering most of my basic annual expenses.

However, this would leave me living quite tightly. It wouldn’t provide much buffer for long-term security or unexpected costs, and there are still other financial goals I’d need to consider beyond just covering essentials.

So I feel stuck:

- Staying in my job feels mentally draining and increasingly unsustainable.

- Leaving it could bring relief, but also financial pressure and uncertainty.

I’m trying to figure out what the right move is.

Has anyone been in a similar situation—feeling resistant to the structure of working life itself, not just a specific job? How did you approach it? Did you push through, change direction, or step away entirely?

I’d really appreciate hearing different perspectives.