u/AmbassadorSingle1416

I (33F) am freezing embryos with a close friend of mine (30M), who I’ve known for 2 years and lived with for 1.

We are both going our separate ways, as we got jobs in different parts of the country (both 1-2 year contracts so future location is flexible).

My donor is someone I respect and trust fully. He is just not one for romantic relationships (has been single since high school), so romance was never on the table. I am divorced and I chose to spend the last few years healing emotionally and setting myself up to become a secure single mother, rather than rushing into another relationship for the sake of having kids. I have wanted nothing more than to be a mom my entire life.

I personally couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of an anonymous sperm donor, so I’m really grateful that my friend stepped up and offered to be my donor. Since my own father was not very present during my childhood (in the picture but traveled for work and was rarely home), I have felt very worried about not giving my child a dad.

My friend is good with kids, and he’s expressed interest in having contact with any child that may result from the embryos. Initially I imagined that my future kids would only see him infrequently and contact him when they had questions. But recently, he asked if he could have them during summers. My line of work is very demanding over summers, so practically I would be relying on childcare a lot during this time of year anyway. And he teaches so he has summers off.

I realize this type of arrangement would cross from a known donor more into coparenting territory. I have over a year before I’ll even consider getting pregnant to think through everything and follow up with all the legal processes, etc. I’m just curious from a DCP perspective, if you have any thoughts or feelings on which would be less damaging/disorienting between having a donor who is more distantly involved vs a dad who is not in a relationship with your mom and also lives in a different place but you get to spend more time with.

I recognize that there are lots of risks with both and that my relationship to the donor may evolve with time as well. Just trying to make the best decision I can. Thank you for reading my essay and for your input!

33 y/o, have never tried to conceive naturally because my ex wasn’t ready and now I’m single.

I’ve done two IVF cycles for egg freezing and they both had low egg yield relative to what was expected from my numbers.

Cycle 1 (age 30): AMH 3.2, AFC 18, 15 large follicles measured and estradiol of 2500 before trigger ➡️ 4 eggs retrieved

Cycle 2 (age 33): AMH 2.9, AFC 28, 19 large follicles measured and estradiol of 2200 before trigger ➡️ 8 eggs retrieved

I am a registered dietitian and personal trainer, and have very healthy lifestyle habits for as long as I can remember. In the last 3 years I have made an effort to gain a some body fat (went from around 19 to 25%) and reduce stress, which I think helped improve my result this time around and I am happy about! My standard labs (blood glucose, lipids, thyroid, etc) are all well within normal limits.

I know the statistics aren’t meant to be applied to individual cases, but both times, I was only able to retrieve half the eggs that my providers estimated based on my data leading up to retrieval. This new provider specifically made adjustments to my protocol based on my previous one too. I don’t understand the science but it appears that I have eggs in reserve but my body just doesn’t like releasing them all at once.

Is this a thing? Should I try IUI instead?