My boyfriend (31M) and I (26F) have been together almost 3 years and living together for one year. He owns the apartment we live in and invited me to move in — I don't pay rent. He pays for approximately 90% of everything we do together. I know his entire family, we spend holidays and vacations together with his family and friends. He is loving, caring, and shows it consistently through actions.
The issue is that in almost 3 years he is very avoidant on future topics like marriage and kids. He does says “our kids“ and plans trips in the long term, but for 3 years I’m worrying a bit how.
This week we had the most honest conversation of our relationship. I told him I feel alone with our future. That when friends ask me about us I always say "we talk about it sometimes" because I genuinely don't know where we're going. He said he's at 92% certain about our future together.
He also said that if he were told he couldn't get married for two years he'd be fine enjoying another year and then seeing. He believes things should happen naturally without too much planning but that we are in the right direction because he has never lived with any women before, never integrated a partner into his family like this.
I have anxious attachment and I'm aware it amplifies things. But I'm turning 27 in July and I have a real timeline in mind for marriage and family.
Should I stay and give it more time or is 92% after 3 years my answer?