u/AmbitiousWash3412

Hi all,

So about a month ago I quit therapy that I had been going to for 6 months as it honestly made me worse.

Well, a month later and nothing has change and I'm wondering if I go back, or try a different therapist. I don't think it's the therapist themself that was why it wasn't working for me but definitely more my fault. I think the biggest issue was every time i went there I just had such an overwhelming sense of shame and that's probably not going anywhere anytime soon.

I also couldn't be truly honest as I didn't want my therapist to hate me or think I'm an arsehole so maybe I need to just not be a pussy if I go back.

I really don't know what to do so any advice is welcome

Hi everyone,

Pretty simple question really, I'm at the stage where I think it could be helpful, but I'd rather do anything else.

I've recently just quit therapy that I went to for around 4/5 months because of the soul crushing feeling of shame I had leaving the session every time. I feel like the second I made that appointment I was putting the white flag up and admitting I lost and needed help.

I think part of it as well is that, I'm sorry if this is getting too personal, but my mum went away when I was 10 and later died when I was 13 and I never needed to talk to anyone about either of those then, so I feel like at 20 years old, I'm weaker than I was back then.

A lot of advice for becoming a better person is be the person you want to be. I want to be the shoulder, not the one crying. I don't want to be a man who has to rely on others for any kind of support, let alone emotional support. I feel like if I did open up to friends or my girlfriend or family, that I'd be losing the war again.

So I'm basically asking, is opening up something that I need to be able to do to succeed and if so, how do I do it without feeling like a loser?

I'm so so sick of mental health advice, its always the same stuff over and over again and I'm really getting sick of it.

I have a lot of problems with self-esteem and self-hatred and all the help I've found for it is just "Don't be mean to urself" or "Think Positive" and shit like that. It's what I hear in therapy to, I'm paying a lot of money to be told stupid shit constantly. I wouldn't say I'm "mean" to myself, I'm honest. I'm not able to sugar-coat how I think. If I mess up I'll think "You messed up again".

I guess I have a weird sense of pride too, in the sense that the "small wins" thing dosent work for me. I'm not gonna praise myself for doing the bare minimum (going to work, eating, maintaining a relationship, etc) because millions if not billions do that everyday.

What really annoys me is on one hand my therapist will say to me "well think about all the people who don't do that, you should feel good about yourself" but then when I say I feel really shitty seeing guys being rich and successful or doing what they love and being good at it, I get hit with the "you shouldn't compare urself to others" SO WHICH IS IT?

The thing that really really gets on my nerve is the idea that everyone is deserving of love or everyone has value. Maybe I'm a dickhead (very possible) but I don't think people are, you gain value by being kind, nice, funny, charming ,successful, caring, philanthropic, talented, etc. You gain value through your valuable traits, success or your skills and aren't born with it.

The last thing I'll complain about (sorry if you've read this whole thing IK I'm a wingebag) is that everyone says "Improve yourself" or "become the person you wanna be". First of, no amount of changing myself will change the fact I'm me. I've still done the things I'm not proud of and embarrassed of and that will never go away. And second, Why? I don't wanna sound like i'm attention seeking but why go through the effort when I could take the easy way out, it would be easier for everyone (I'm sure alot of people would be happy to see one more man off the planet) but it would be a hell of alot easier for me too.

Anyway thank you for reading my dramatic, childish rant. Any advice is really appreciates as I'm not in a good place.

Also, please be harsh, if I'm being a knobhead please just tell me straight up.

Hi everyone,

As I'm writing this I'm in a real bad place to be completely honest. I have a lot of problems but my biggest one probably is my hatred for myself.

I always try and look at things logically and that leads me to the fact that I have no worth and deserve nothing good. I have people who care about me like my girlfriend and my dad and a few friends, and the love they show me makes me resent them, because they must either want something, are lying, or don't know the real me.

Anyway, I know that's not a good mindset to have, but I genuinely can't help it, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to sound dramatic, but I'm very close to giving up on myself.

I do want to be better though. I'm a very lucky man and I want to feel like i deserve it. But it's been almost a decade since I looked at myself and was happy or proud.

So any advice would be amazing. Thank you

I've been going to therapy for the first time in my life for around 3-4 months now. I know that's not exactly the longest period of time, but I've seen no changes, in fact I think it's getting worse.

I find myself not enjoying sessions and wishing I stayed home and I also just come out of them feeling worse and that lingers through the rest of the week. My problems seem to be getting worse as well, I'm extremely anxious, after every social interaction I want to throw up from embarrassment, even if I just nodded at someone I know, and its leading me to isolate.

There's a bunch of other problems I have and therapy hasn't changed a thing.

I know the obvious answer is to find another therapist, but I don't drive and don't live in the most built up area, so there's no other options (that's a lie there is a couple, but I'm not paying £100 a session, I'm a bloody apprentice). And I CANNOT under any circumstances do online therapy, I would simply just hang up, pathetic I know but I find online stuff mostly so dystopian.

So basically, I don't know what to do.

Do I stick with it, do I try someone else, or it's just not for me?

Any advice is appreciated and I'm sorry if I'm just being Stupid

I'm not expecting a very simple bog standard answer, I'm not that naïve (I'd like to think so)

But honestly nothing works for me yet. I've been doing therapy for 2 months, I know that's not very long but I'd still like to feel somewhat better, and it hasn't helped. There's a lot I'm very insecure about that I can't exactly change like how I look or speak or interact with people or how I've been cringe and embarrassing and just an areshole in the past to people.

It's really making me anxious and paranoid to, like everytime I see friends or anyone I'll walk away from interactions terrified I embarrassed myself, because it's me, how could I not. It's gotten to the point where my girlfriend will compliment me and I just think she's lying or needs a favour or something.

I've also really grown a distaste for "confident people", which I know is a disgusting thing to say, but like part of me thinks if you do actually like yourself, you must be arrogant and self centred.

Anyway, any advice or whatever is appreciated (apart from "just be kind to yourself" because trust me I would if I could)