July 29, 2025
after that message I tried so hard not to bother you again, not because I didn't want too, not because I didn't miss you, not because I forgot about you, but because I knew that silence is all I had left to give.
I've already said what needed to be said, letting my words hang in the air between us like a bridge that I could never cross.
and now all I can do is step back, hold on to Whatever's left of our memories, our amazing times together. and actually really try to let you go, try to let go of the person I've truly loved.
but it's not that easy. it's not easy when my fingers itch to type another message, when my heart races just imagining your name lighting up my screen like old times, it's not easy when my mind keeps replaying the past wondering if there was more I could've done, more WE could've done together.
it's not easy when every part of me still misses the comfort of your soul, your presence, your voice, how close it felt talking to you late at night together all alone.
last night I dreamt of you. everything was so calm, I felt at peace. no pain, no distance, you looked at me the way I've missed so much. how you smiled, how you laughed, everything came to life in that dream. it was everything was like before, but I could actually hug you. and when I did, you didn't let go. everything felt so real, but when I woke up and realized it was a dream I was disappointed. i tried sleeping again, just to take one more look at you. but I couldn't...
i wish dreams were real, because only there I feel at peace with you, I've realized that I missed you more than I can bear. i just want you to know that in my dreams. in my dreams you're still here. And you're still the one I love with all my heart.