u/Amoxicillinnn

Me 22 F and my boyfriend 24 M have been together for almost 2 years now. Weve had our share of fights and disagreements like every couple, but there’s one thing that has consistently bothered me - his inability (or unwillingness I must say) to reassure me emotionally.

I tend to overthink sometimes, and when something between us upsets me, I try to communicate it openly because I want support and reassurance from him. But most of the time, I end up feeling worse because instead of comforting me, he becomes very practical and detached about things.

He often brings up the possibility of us ending someday because of how little time he’s able to give me due to work and his schedule. I understand that he’s pragmatic and career-focused, but sometimes I wonder why someone would get into a relationship if they’re going to approach it so emotionally cautiously.

The thing is, I genuinely love him a lot. I’ve never been able to imagine myself leaving him, even during moments where I felt exhausted or hurt by repeated patterns. I’ve never been rude to him during arguments either. But he’s extremely inarticulate emotionally - he rarely consoles me, rarely reassures me, and if I try to explain how his actions hurt me or ask him to acknowledge his mistakes, he gets angry and defensive.

Lately, I’ve started feeling like maybe this relationship won’t last long-term, and that thought genuinely breaks me. I feel emotionally dependent on him to an unhealthy extent, and I’ve started hating that about myself.

Part of me now wants to slowly detach emotionally so that if this relationship ever ends, I won’t completely fall apart mentally. Because with the state I’m currently in, I genuinely feel like I’d spiral badly if we broke up.

Is emotional detachment the right thing to do here, or is there a healthier way to deal with this?

Me 22 F and my boyfriend 24 M have been together for almost 2 years now. Weve had our share of fights and disagreements like every couple, but there’s one thing that has consistently bothered me - his inability (or unwillingness I must say) to reassure me emotionally.

I tend to overthink sometimes, and when something between us upsets me, I try to communicate it openly because I want support and reassurance from him. But most of the time, I end up feeling worse because instead of comforting me, he becomes very practical and detached about things.

He often brings up the possibility of us ending someday because of how little time he’s able to give me due to work and his schedule. I understand that he’s pragmatic and career-focused, but sometimes I wonder why someone would get into a relationship if they’re going to approach it so emotionally cautiously.

The thing is, I genuinely love him a lot. I’ve never been able to imagine myself leaving him, even during moments where I felt exhausted or hurt by repeated patterns. I’ve never been rude to him during arguments either. But he’s extremely inarticulate emotionally - he rarely consoles me, rarely reassures me, and if I try to explain how his actions hurt me or ask him to acknowledge his mistakes, he gets angry and defensive.

Lately, I’ve started feeling like maybe this relationship won’t last long-term, and that thought genuinely breaks me. I feel emotionally dependent on him to an unhealthy extent, and I’ve started hating that about myself.

Part of me now wants to slowly detach emotionally so that if this relationship ever ends, I won’t completely fall apart mentally. Because with the state I’m currently in, I genuinely feel like I’d spiral badly if we broke up.

Is emotional detachment the right thing to do here, or is there a healthier way to deal with this?