u/Amyforrest230

I bartend in my college hometown at one of the more popular bars. I make good money, but honestly part of the job is basically pretending to be the “fun bartender girl” all night because men tip better when they think you like them.

Last weekend this couple came in with a big group of friends. The boyfriend was already drunk and immediately started doing the usual bartender flirting lingering at the bar, touching my hand every time I gave him a drink, calling me pet names, etc. I kept brushing it off because unfortunately it happens constantly.

At one point his girlfriend came up alone and jokingly said something like, “Careful, I think my boyfriend’s in love with you.” I laughed and said, “Trust me, he acts like this with bartenders because he wants free attention, not because I’m special.”

Well apparently she told him I said that, because later he got SUPER offended and started arguing with me at the bar saying I was “full of myself” and “thought every guy wants me.” I finally snapped and said, “Dude, you’ve been standing here for two hours trying to impress a bartender while your girlfriend is sitting alone.”

The entire friend group heard it. His girlfriend looked mortified, he called me a bitch, and they left shortly after. My coworkers think it was hilarious, but one of my friends said I humiliated the girlfriend more than the boyfriend and should’ve just stayed professional.

I still live in my college hometown and work at one of the popular bars here, and on paper it sounds ideal. I leave with $300-$500 some nights, know everyone, get free drinks/food constantly, and people always tell me how “lucky” I am because I make in two nights what some of my friends make all week. But I genuinely dread going in sometimes.

I think part of it is feeling stuck in permanent college mode. Every shift is the same people having the same conversations every weekend while I slowly become part of the scenery. Guys act like tipping means emotional intimacy, girls trauma dump in the bathroom, and old frat guys come back acting nostalgic like we’re all still 21.

And the HOURS are awful. I didn’t realize how much getting home at 3am would mess with me mentally. I’m either too wired to sleep or sleeping half the next day away. Dating feels weird, friendships feel weird, and weekends basically don’t exist anymore. The hardest part though is realizing how much of the job is performing. Being the “fun hot bartender girl” makes way more money than just acting normal, and after a while it gets exhausting.

And the money is good enough that it’s hard to leave, which honestly makes me feel kind of trapped sometimes. Anyway. I know people have way harder jobs and I’m grateful for the money. Just wondering if other girls in the service industry secretly feel like this too.