u/AnAnonToKeep

When I (f40s) met W (m50s) he was a crackhead and inwas homeless. We been living together for a while but not in a relationship, i just tried to help him. We had both got away from the drugs entirely for over 2 years. I had to move suddenly about 3 months ago, bought him a phone and been paying for it and sending him money on a cashapp card since then.

In the last couple weeks he has been frequenting the places and hanging out with the people from drug days. Monday he told me a wild tale of a shootout nearby, bodies everywhere (this was NOT on local news or in local police blotter at all), and then I didnt hear from him until today. He normall texts me 4-6 times per day on average usually to my annoyance because to reiterate - not a relationship beyond friendship.

I'm struggling financially also, but I feel bad because he is also disabled. So wibtah/aitah if I quit sending him money, and/or stop paying for the phone, and/or cut of contact completely? i am struggling to figure out next steps here.

ps this is a semi burner anon account because my main one has identifying info and links all over it. I use this very occasionally when I need to be anon to protect others in my situation. i hate gpt and the like because they're unethical and ruining the internet but inhave adhd and a bachelor degree so i get accused of being an llm half the time and i don't know what to say but i promise i'm not.

This is an anonymous account for privacy of others mentioned - but not a total throwaway. I'm a member of this community that just doesn't want to be identified because my main is not at all anon. I hope that's ok.

TLDR is I need tips for cleaning up decades worth of roach poo, cobwebs, kitty litter (used), trash of all kinds, mildew, cakes on dirt, piles upon piles that there is nowhere ro even *start"

Long story, the situation is I moved in with some friends I have known since childhood, due to all of us being kinda down on our luck (aka finances) right now & it turns out their parents were crazy cat people and hoarders and I need your best tips for tackling the cleanup.

They (2 adult siblings) still live in the house they grew up in. I knew they were struggling playing 5 but I had no idea how bad things really were (admittedly there were red flags that make sense now in hindsight). Their folks died a couple years ago and they had nowhere ro gonso they just... continued living like they always have. I don't blame 'em, what else can you do, struggling to make ends meet doesnt leave much time for regular chores let alone digging out of this.

Let me try to give you a sense of how bad it is.

There is no running water, despite the bill being paid, its shit off at the meter because a pipe broke in the attic during the freeze in 2021 and it hasn't been fixed yet.

But years before that, the toilet stopped flushing right and clogged easily. They solved it by throwing the poo paper in a garbage bag. Cool except at some point there were no more bags and now the poo paper is to the ceiling and I'm pretty sure there is a bathtub under it all somewhere. And a sink. Maybe even a mirror.

Its a 2 bedroom house. Neither bedroom is being used. One is full to the ceiling of plastic soda bottles and beer cans. The other is jammed so full I'm not sure the door will actually even open anymore, with all the not-trash hoarded shit. Maddeningly, behind all that is a nearly brand new window unit a/c that can be seen from the outside but not utilized from in the house.

They've been living in the small living/dining area. Sleeping on the sofas, with clutter just everywhere that you cant even walk thru except one small path. I moved into a old unused utility room in the back of the house. It took 2 days to literallt shovel the used kitty litter that was wall to wall, out the door.

Their dad was an abusive alcoholic. Their mom was a hoarder (its a common response to trauma). She filled the house with craft project materials that she'd never open, ingredients for exotic recipes she'd never cook, etc. And animals...

They had 20 cats at one point. Its down to 2 now, but I've been here almost 3 months and haven't found a litterbox yet. Not that the cats would know what it is if I did, from the looks of things. There are two black labs and two cats. They all shit in the kitchen because its the only place you can see a space on the floor.

Because, see, the back yard of this quarter acre lot is another post entirely. I'll probably use this account again to ask for advice on it when I can ever get to it. But I digress.

The paint is peeling off the walls. Someone tried to repaint the living room somewhere along the way but the new paint is probably 20+ years old now as well. And the proof the disaster was well underway even then, is that they painted AROUND furniture that was against the wall instead of moving it. And stacks of boxes or whatever.

And a blob that I bet was dirty clothes, which for all I know might be why there's a pile of dirt there now, in the center of the living room. It very well could be laundry that decomposed.

There's a fridge in the kitchen that stopped working in the nineties. Stupidly, i checked to see if it had been cleaned out. Bizarrely, after this many decades the things that were left in it presumably when it stopped working don't stink anymore.

The new fridge is in the living room. The sink has 30 years of dishes in it. The electrical outlets in the house will shock you if you touch the cord to anything plugged in unless you are wearing sneakers.

And there is an active mouse infestation. The cats let them eat first when their bowl is filled at night. I think they assume the mice are family members at this point.

So, anyway, if you made it this far thru my venting - where the heck do I even start to try to dig out of this? How the heck do I clean anything when there is nowhere ro sort or move things and no water and barely lights?

Any real world tips welcome. Please don't say "run," its not really an option for reasons that aren't relevant.