u/Ancient-Ad-9456

So I'm 20M and recently i realised (accepted more like) that my number one priority has always been women and dating. Up to this point I didn't really think it was an issue because it coincided with my over all tendency towards longing and feeling sorry for myself. I have always been very shy , reserved and afraid of getting close to people so i didn't really get involved with anyone. This year , thanks to therapy, I've been a lot more active. I thought getting a girlfriend would ease that nagging part of my brain but it really didn't ( i was with someone for about six months but it didn't work out). It dictates my mood and seriously affects my day to day , especially when things aren't going well. It's not that i don't have other hobbies and interests but they all take a back seat to my romantic life. When things are going as I had hoped I am stressed that they might change or that I don't deserve it and when they're not i just fall into despair and anxiety. It just seems so fundamental to me , emotionally at least. How can i de-prioritise this part of my life so i can focus on other aspects.

Ps. I understand that its normal for people (especially men) my age to be overly concerned with that kind of stuff but i think it's gotten to a ridiculous degree in my case

Ok so in order for this rant/question to make sense I need to explain my point of view. I am in a band and about a month ago we were playing a gig. After said gig , someone who had come to see us on his own was talking to us about music etc. He was unassuming and a bit awkward and didn't really make any kind of an impression, on me at least. Lately I've been trying to find ways to make new friends and socialise. But I am reluctant to go to things on my own and just talk to others because I'm afraid i might be seen like the person i mentioned earlier. There was nothing wrong with him but looking back , i just feel bad for him. He just stood there trying to make conversation with a group of strangers who were talking to other people they knew at the gig and having conversations amongst themselves and it just seemed a bit sad to me. So my question is : is this a situation where I'm being an assh*le (internally) towards that person or am i justified in thinking that this is not so good position to be in