u/AnimatorKooky5181

I woke up suicidal again. I have 2 little kids that I can’t take care of but have to figure out how to get through the day and put on a happy face. I can barely take care of myself.

Nothing helps. I’ve changed medications 100 times, I’ve gone to so many different therapies. I tried exercise but hate it. I have too much social anxiety to put myself out there and socialize with anyone. I’m hopeless if you can’t tell and feeling trapped. I just want to lay in bed and shut the world out. just venting here in case it helps somehow

I don’t cook, I don’t clean or do laundry, I work about 1-2 hours a day and just waste time on Reddit or instagram the rest of the time. I don’t go to the gym either or generally do anything productive. I’m being treated for depression but it’s not working, because I think I’m genuinely just lazy not depressed. The next step is for me to take Vyvanse but again I don’t think I have ADHD I think I’m just a lazy person. I want to change but I’m just too lazy to do anything about it. Just wanted to get this off my chest

EDIT: thanks for all the comments. I’m hoping to start Vyvanse tomorrow but I’m still skeptical it can change my underlying attitude