I will likely miss my connection in Denver and the next flight is not until the next morning. When I called frontier they said I would be eligible for a refund. I’m wondering if it would be worth it to just get the refund and put that money toward booking myself on another flight
I feel like I have so many specific memories that make this all feel real. Like in particular I can remember every time my friends talked about coming out. Or remember every time my friends hooked up with women and it makes me think that I’m fixating on it because I’m lesbian and didn’t realize. Like why would I remember those things specifically? I can’t have ocd if I had little intrusive thoughts for years.
It makes me think two older girls I looked up to were actually crushes. When I was young and had a crush on an older neighbor I remember thinking his prom date was really pretty and now my brain is telling me that was a crush.
Any women on here who have recovered? Would you be willing to give advice/share your story?
I (late 20s female) recently experienced what I think is a major OCD flare regarding my sexual orientation. It started because I have difficulty orgasming during sex with men and am worried that the sex I’m having isn’t as pleasurable as it should be. I am seeing a man who I think I like and started doing research on how to feel more intense sensation during sex. I saw something on Reddit that women who came out as lesbian experienced this and BOOM the spiral started. I read about late bloomer lesbians and compulsory heterosexuality and started freaking out.
The problem is there is “evidence.” I feel like I get aroused by all types of sex scenes in movies (gay, like heated rivalry, straight, lesbian). That didn’t actually used to bother me until now.
The biggest piece of evidence I’m worried about now is that I’ve always kind of had a small worry about my sexuality. Like for example I have many queer friends and when they came out to me I would have the thought “how do you know you’re not gay?” I never wanted to kiss my friends that were girls because I was afraid I would like it. When I would hear about my friends experimenting and deciding it wasn’t for them I would think “that’s not you though if you tried it you would like it you’re just too scared. Sometimes when my dad would reference who in are family was gay and how many gay family members we might have because of statistics I would think “am I also one of those gay family members?”
So I’ve always had little doubts but never fixated like this. I’ve read that this type of OCD often feels like it comes out of nowhere and in a way it does. The flare I mentioned happened in March and i felt so out of my body and scared. But when I think back and review I have been worried about it before. I avoided watching the Dakota Johnson movie “Am I Ok?” because I was worried I would relate to it. When I actually watched it before this crisis it didn’t really stir up anything (but I can’t remember clearly now).