24F, boyfriend 29M, together for 5 months.
I think my boyfriend has ruined the sex for me and I cry each time I think about it.
We were having sex a couple weeks ago and my boyfriend was going very rough and fast and he accidentally slipped his dick and shoved it into my ass and then I started screaming and crying in pain for five minutes (it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt) ، and it happened twice.. he ofc apologized and feels awful but it keeps happening and I feel trauma to the point where I cant get turned on anymore and I know my boyfriend wants sex but I still feel the pain till now.. it still hurts to poo and he wants anal and I try to explain that I cant do it anymore I feel bad because he’s the sweetest man ever and is so kind to me.
I also got an injury first time we had sex because we went raw couple times a day for five days and I feel like my inside skin was ripped off and I stayed in bed screaming and crying in pain for five days.. I couldn’t do sex for two weeks, god I feel awful writing this. I just wish for my sex life to become normal again. I just wish I can be intimate again. I’m crying writing this. I just feel like the pain never go away and I cant ever feel safe or do sex normally again. It just feels weird and off and I feel like it’ll happen again. It’s so uncomfortable. I just do it for him to satisfy my boyfriend needs and that’s it..
Because of the incident I’ve been pushing him away each time he comes for a cuddle, a hug or a kiss because I’m afraid but I love him so much.. we went from having sex everyday to two or one time a week and I feel bad.?