u/AnonVeganNugget

Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling pretty badly with rOCD for about a month now after having over a year where I barely had any rOCD thoughts. It was my main subtype for a long time, so having it come back has been really difficult.

My last relationship was 8 years long, and unfortunately, my ex used my OCD and reassurance seeking against me. She told me that my reassurance seeking contributed to her having the idea to cheat and she actually ended up cheating, which really messed with me.

Fast forward to now: I left that relationship, spent almost a year single, did a lot of work on myself, and I’m now in an incredibly healthy relationship. We’ve been together for about 6 months, and she has been nothing but loving, and supportive.

And yet, my brain is terrified that I’m going to lose her. I constantly worry that she’ll find someone better, that I’m not enough for her, that I’m not attractive enough, that she’ll eventually cheat, or that somehow I’m going to ruin this relationship. I know logically that none of these thoughts are based in reality. I know it’s my OCD talking. But knowing that doesn’t stop the thoughts, and I still find myself overthinking and asking for reassurance.

I’m just so tired of this illness. I’m genuinely terrified that my OCD is going to ruin something that is actually really good and healthy.

Has anyone else experienced rOCD coming back after a long period of feeling better, especially when you’re in a healthy relationship?