u/Anonymia1101

i finally moved out and to a different state than my parents (i live in the US). i have a job and smartly moved all of my money to a bank account they don't have access to. my parents don't really remember me unless i call them first, and since the begininning of 2026, ive been doing that less and less.

But...idk. I feel kinda guilty??? i was a very filial daughter despite what they may see it as. i would always buy my parents birthday gifts ($100+) and be there emotionally for them, and i think they took as the expectation. now that i have a therapist and a solid medication regime, as well as the distance, i feel peace. there's no one to yell at me, no one to criticize my body, no one to please. they never really got better as i got older, and as i was the child beaten the most out of my siblings i fear them in ways that are primal. like, i am VERY sensitive to dangerous emotions in others and will go out of my way to not anger people, which is often to my detriment- but anyways--

my mom called me, and then tried to follow me on linkedin??? mind you she has never been very interested in me as an adult outside of what i can do for her so i blocked her and then ignored her call, but now i feel bad. like, not bad enough to call her back (lol) but guilty? has anyone else dealt with those complicated feelings and knows what to do? i know this is def cptsd but like okay now what lol

[cross posted in r/ zep] I’ve been on tirz since late November. I (21 F) started on because my mom put me on the medication and I continued even after she tried to forbid me from it. In that time I have lost nearly 50 kg. All I’ve ever wanted my entire life is to not be big. I had an eating disorder for a very long time, both restrictive and over eating in pursuit of this goal. I have always loved moving but in a bigger body, it’s very hard to do. I had parents who didn’t believe in therapy for mental health help and furthermore didn’t like when we went to the doctors at all, so if there was ever anything wrong with us, if home remedies didn’t fix it, we were on our own.

I say all of this to say that my mind has never been this quiet before and I’m almost afraid of it being too good to be true. I love how I look now. I love how I feel now. but I’ve lost significant amounts of weight before, and I still went back up the scale. Every time I set out to lose weight, I always told myself that it would be different this time and it never was. I feel scared to say it out loud but what makes this time different?

I’ve posted in the LoseIt sub Reddit years ago after one, successful weight loss attempt, and it just feels too good to be true. I know things are different this time objectively- much of the triggers for my binging was academic related stress and I graduated this past May and I don’t live with my family anymore so those emotional triggers no longer exist. I find relief and art and dancing and exercising and smoking and with this medication I don’t feel the compulsion to eat (and that’s what it was btw, i was COMPELLED TO EAT. LIKE I WAS UNDER A SPELL NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED)

I am in therapy, and I’m also on psychiatric medication, so I know things are different environmentally this time. But. I don’t know. Anyone relate and can share some wisdom?

My parents have been awful to me my entire life. I have dealt with hour long beatings since before I could even remember. The only reason they stopped is because I accidentally got CPS involved when I was in HS (and I actually at the time posted about it here, this was almost five years ago) long story short: nothing came of it, and she stopped hitting us after it. My little sister got to do therapy and my parents got her a psychiatrist, so it wasn't all for nothing. I think that incident really scared my parents into being better parents, but as I was leaving to college anyway, it didn't do anything for me.

Now I've just graduated Uni. And...i don't know. I think I just need the space to process everything done to me. I wasn't even able to get specialists help for anything because it was too much of a "burden" for my parents growing up.

I am more healed, and I want to grow and heal even more as a person. My mom, now nearly five years later, hasn't really changed. She still insults and belittles her adult children, attempts to invade my privacy (and feels ENTITLED to it too), will try to control me financially, and will steal and destroy my things if she feels they are "unsafe" or "unaligned" with what she wants me focused on. As a child, my mom would forbid any sort of girlish cosmetics and accessories because it would "distract me from school". Meaning at 7 years old she would be beating me before school because I would have on some of that kiddy nail polish and it made me "grown" and "defiant" and "distracted".

For a long time I thought my father was the better parent; in some ways that still holds true, but my eyes have been OPENED to his actions too. For one, he is definitely a Nigerian Man. He has very reductive views on service towards him and gratitude of him being in my life. It's just that it was my mom my entire life enforcing that. So if he felt disrespected, he'd tell my mom and she would then beat me. He also was violent though, and has a terrible temper. He is deeply impatient, but English isn't his first language so he's a very bad communicator. Add on top of that me having undiagnosed ADHD for the majority of my life, and trying to follow his instructions was a NIGHTMARE. There wasn't any room for error, because any and all error would be punished.

But it's like he doesn't even understand how he's acting, and he tells me I'm mouthy or defiant now though all I have EVER done is matched his energy. I asked him "Dad, can i ask you a question without you getting mad?" and it made him mad enough to start shouting. Because how dare I, his child say that when it's actually ME who's the angry one. He in that moment realized what he was doing and sounded forcibly measured in his response to the question asked, but holy shit, it's almost comical how he acts. This was YESTERDAY.

He will be violent if he's impatient enough. He's broken numerous of my sister's headphones because she couldn't hear him from her room with them on and it made him impatient and angry. I just really don't have the energy to do this anymore-- especially NOW that I have the choice.

My parents are well to do nigerian parents who actually make quite a comfortable amount of money, but they have socialized me to never ask for it. In college, I worked four jobs because I had things I needed paid for and knew i couldn't rely on them for it. My parents don't really like me I don't think. And there's no real way to have a conversation about it anymore. Trust me, I've tried.

I leave in three days and my parents don't even know. I've pretty much stonewalled them about my new job, and will keep doing that until I leave. It's bittersweet because I DONT want to go and would rather have the safety net of living at my parents, but I know that it's just a fantasy of who I want them to be, not who they actually are. Even though this process has been scary and difficult, I still do it because staying isn't an option.

Would love to hear your personal stories and any support is welcome <3

Hello! idk if i’d call myself a baby witch, but i’ve been practicing the craft since i was pretty young (albeit on and off) and this year really got back into it.

However, all of my spiritual things were confiscated by campus police in a surprise raid of my apartment- and they took pretty much EVERYTHING. my money bowl, my candles, my sage (i got that from a friend :/ ) and more. I tried getting it back but they threatened to arrest me 🥲

I just don’t even know where to rebuild. I’ve been so frazzled and just got back into regular prayer and i’m just so sad. any advice would be amazing!

Both of my psychiatrists diagnosed me with OCD both recently and a couple years ago, and I’ve just started prozac to manage symptoms (wish me luck!) but holy shit was that what that was??

I told them about the chanting I had to do, that I couldn’t walk on cracks reflexively and had to knock on wood for anything if i said either a positive or negative absolute statement (positive because it would jinx it and negative because i thought i was manifesting the bad thing). like right now, i will never say a bad thing absolutely because i am too afraid of the consequences. Even the idea of typing it out now is making me itchy.

As a kid I had to be so particular with my things. My parents parented with idea that nothing was in our control as their children and would often go through my things and either read them or throw them away. I had a lot of siblings and things were not seen as belonging to us but something we had that the whole family had a right to. I also have BED so having siblings who would eat any food that I couldn’t get to immediately made resource guard 😭. I have been away at uni for these last couple of years and I’m back with my family until July and HOLY SHIT. how did i deal with any of this?? i constantly feel like driving a silver fork into my neck. Everything makes me twitchy, and if something isn’t particular I have a meltdown. I’m sick of this shit. Fuck man. Any advice would be lovely thank you🙏

(hopefully i tagged this correctly i apologize please forgive me in advance)