Queer Woman wonder if the kind of man I’m attracted to actually exists
I’m a more masculine-presenting person (she/they), and I’ve only ever had long-term relationships with women. I’m really comfortable with both my femininity and masculinity, and I naturally move between the two depending on how I feel.
Growing up I presented much more femininely. Because the dating pool where I lived was pretty small, I dated a few men and had several sexual experiences with men. But something always felt a little off. As I became more comfortable expressing myself in a more masculine way, I noticed that most straight cis men just weren’t interested in me anymore (with one exception who I saw on and off for a while).
That also made me realise that maybe I’m not actually attracted to very traditionally masculine, rigid gender roles. What I find incredibly attractive are men who are secure in their masculinity but also embrace and express their femininity without shame. Someone who doesn’t feel boxed in by what a man “should” be.
Meeting women has always been easy for me, and I’ve dated both masculine and feminine women. But I sometimes wonder whether the type of man I’m imagining actually exists, or if it’s just a fantasy.
I’m currently in a long-term relationship with my partner (she/they), and we’ve been talking about opening our relationship to explore threesomes and shared experiences. When I picture those experiences, I don’t imagine stereotypical gender dynamics. I imagine being with someone who’s fluid, authentic, confident, and doesn’t feel confined by traditional masculinity or femininity.
Have any of you met men like this? Are they actually out there, or am I romanticising the idea? I’d love to hear from people who’ve had similar experiences.