u/AnxietSea

All I wanted to be is the perfect wife and we were talking about starting a family really soon and I wanted to have children with me and now I can’t even do that. We had names picked out. I hate when people say “you’re young, you’ll find love again, you’ll still have children”…. Like no, I only wanted children with him. I can never picture myself with someone else, and people are saying this not even a month into him passing. Do they think they are trying to be “helpful”? I don’t care that I’m turning 29 next month. I don’t feel much of a purpose now. Like I don’t want to plan for the future, I’m just going through the motions and trying not to break down in front of people.

It’s been about a month since he passed and I’m still doing really bad. His past work no longer qualifies me for their free counseling since he’s deceased and I think that’s messed up. I’m still trying to find free counseling.

I really love to mention him anytime I can but I don’t know if other people expect me not to talk about him or they get the pity look when I mention them, and maybe I’m overthinking it since my anxiety is through the roof.

He was my world, my everything. I still feel so alone and broken even with a few friends and family reaching out to me. I just want him back so bad, and it still doesn’t even feel real even though I saw him pass. I just can’t come to terms with it.

He passed four weeks ago today, and even though I saw him pass, I still think he’s on a work trip and going to be walking in the door soon. I still can’t imagine that he’s actually gone. It feels like just last week he passed and now it’s been four weeks? I just can’t wrap my head around it. & people keep asking me what my future plans are…I don’t have future plans, he was my future plans, I don’t want to plan anything. I just want him back.

It’s been 19 days since I lost my husband so suddenly (both 28). All I want is him, I just want to talk to him and have him talk back. As much as I’m afraid of dying. If I knew heaven was 100% real and that I’d 100% see him again, I would want to go to heaven now. Maybe that’s selfish but I don’t care. I just want him back. I’d do anything for him to come back. I want him to walk in the door and say it was a bad joke.

My husband passed about 9 days ago. We were together for five years and sadly only married for six months before he unexpectedly passed. We are both 28. I want to get a double headstone and be next to him when I pass.

I have people in support of that but then I have people saying, “oh you’re young, you’ll find love again, that’s a big commitment blah blah blah”

I don’t want to find love again, he was my world. I want to be next to him, I don’t want kids without him. I don’t care that I’m only 28. Is this such a crazy thing to want?

I have not slept well since last Sunday when I brought him to the ER. Do you think because of my exhaustion I’m not dreaming? I miss him so much and I just want to talk to him again. I don’t know how to process anything and I feel so broken.