r/Widow

My Michael passed at home. I went to work Wednesday night and when I got home Thursday morning he was gone. The next thing I knew our home was filled with strangers. The only thing I asked was to let me see him before he left just 1 more time.

When he was ready they came and got me from the room I was in. I gave him kisses and kisses and more kisses and lots of hugs. I also pet his hair back from his forehead.

I told him how much I loved him over and over and thanked him for loving me and for the beautiful life he gave me. Then I told him I didn’t want to but I had to say goodbye.

Now I have flashes where I see him laying on that thing looking like he’s asleep. Please tell me I’m not alone.

My fiancée died in a crash on February as he was driving us to our farm. In the same crash I broke both my legs, some ribs, my eye got torn and a bunch of other scars. I also watched him die as he was next to me and I was also dying. While I was in ICU, his family gained access to our home and took everything he owned apart from his clothes. Watches, wallets, cards, cash, assets, car, phone. They held his funeral at a date when I couldn’t even be able to attend. I had to go in an ambulance with a doctor cause I was still in critical condition, and only managed to just view his body before my health went bad and had to head back. My family attended the funeral and didn’t get any recognition, meanwhile they gave a bunch of random people my late fiancée didn’t even know a chance to speak…. His sister was staying with us since Feb when she was visiting the country so even the house bills they used while I was in hospital I paid for everything. Fast forward to date, they separated themselves entirely. Im just so broken

My husband died 6 months ago. Unexpectedly (heart attack) and literally one month to the day we got married. Navigating this first year as a newlywed and a widow. Nobody warns you that becoming widowed can make the world feel emotionally unfamiliar. Unsafe in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’m functioning, but the person who made life feel emotionally anchored is gone. And it truly sucks. I’ve lived alone before. But this is SOOOOO different.

Yet, we keep answering the emails, working, paying bills, while outwardly not trying to look completely overwhelmed.

Trying to rebuild your life after everything changed suddenly, while appearing “okay” to the outside world is exhausting.

My husband has had a horrific series of events for the past year that have led to terminal diagnosis. The doctors gave life expectancy of 4 weeks-2 months.

I really hope this isn’t inappropriate, and if it is- I’m truly sorry. But I’m also desperate to provide the best I can for him during these times. He’s my best friend. I was his first gf. Together for 13 years. I want the best I can give to him. But I’m also not financially okay. What are some things I can do to lay him to rest in the most honorable way?

He’s a simple gentle kind soul. He loves to just be surrounded by friends and families. How can I be sure I’m making the correct decisions when preparing to lay him to rest?

I welcome any advice and for all widows out there, I’m deeply sorry.

I just recently lost my husband .I don't know if this is the right group to ask.I want to do a celebration of life for him but I'm not sure how.He was a veteran but they won't help unless I put him in the veterans cemetery.He loved motocross and ebikes.I don't have enough money to have food or anything for it.We are trying not to be homeless as it is.Any ideas and other places to ask for ideas? It is still hitting me .I went to clean my glasses today.Then I remembered he would always do it for me .Just everything.

and no way could I have been prepared for how odd that felt. Now he sits, in a box, until we sort it all out so our kids can get their customized pieces they want. I just sit here glancing at this box that contains the man I was with for 20 years, made 5 babies with, had a life with. This really is not the grief I expected to show up.

My husband passed away 6 months ago. And I keep getting flashbacks all the time. He is in the hospital bed or laying on the floor when the stroke hit him. And it doesn't need to be traumatic most of the time. He is standing on the doorway. He is walking in the neighborhood. He is sitting on the sofa on his computer.

Wherever I am, I keep getting flashbacks. Does it happen to everyone?

I feel like I’ve made myself completely numb, trying to just pretend and idk, forget. It’s too hard to keep up with all the life stuff with our 5 kids that’s happening (all important and happy moments we should be celebrating together) trying to be happy if I let myself even think about him. It doesn’t feel right. I hurt so much thinking that I’m betraying him by not being emotionally wrecked right now. I just hate this. I hate how it all feels. I hate that we had so much happening we were looking forward to and now he’s just gone and these things will still happen, without him now.

I know people mean well, and I truly don’t think anyone has bad intentions when they say this. But after losing my husband, hearing “my heart breaks for you” over and over almost feels empty now.

Like… okay. Mine too. My whole life broke. i’m trying to “adjust” to this new life 😵‍💫

I think sometimes people don’t realize that when you’re the one actually living the grief every day, certain phrases start feeling repetitive instead of comforting. I almost prefer people just being real with me — “I’m here,” “tell me about him,” etc.

I wrote and have put it in my niece’s wedding anniversary card.
I’ve posted this in part before but here it is in full;

The Best Feeling

The Best Feeling when you’re an adult in a relationship, is Being in Love and Being Loved in return, the same way.
This person who is not related to you and hasn’t known you forever, has chosen you as… The One, Their One.
You feel happy.
You feel fulfilled.
You feel normal.
You feel part of something, part of someone.
You feel content.
You feel cared for.
You feel respected
You feel you matter.
You hold hands.
You give them a sneaky kiss just because you can.
You know you’re not on your own.
You will be comforted.
You will laugh together.
You will cry together.
You will discuss your life together.
You will make decisions together.

We take all this for granted through the years and only realise its beauty when it’s gone.
And then there’s nothing you can do about it.

Please, never forget to love, to show your love and cherish every moment together X ❤️

I did do a search but didn't find any similar posts, mods can feel free to delete if not appropriate. So, I was widowed in 2009, after almost 9 years of marriage. I was in my early twenties. I didn't know anyone at that time or have anyone to relate experience to me about what it was like to be a widow in your twenties. But shortly after my husband passed, I met someone through mutual friends. To make a long story short, that man became the second love of my life. We have now been married for 14 years. My question is, sometimes, I feel overwhelming sadness and guilt about the loss of my first husband and "moving on so fast". And I don't know anyone else who has experienced this similar situation to mine. Maybe, I'm just looking for someone to tell me that it's okay to think about him from time to time, and feel overwhelming sadness, but yet still be totally completely in love with the husband that I am married to now. There are conflicting feelings within me that I can't explain. And it feels like I'm torn between feeling how I'm supposed to feel versus how I'm allowed to feel. If that makes any sense, I don't know. Thank you if you've read all the way through this.

My (34F) husband (34M) has been living with depression and ADHD for most his life but was only diagnosed in late 2024.

On our 10 year anniversary, we went on a holiday. The first few days was nice but on the second to the last day, we had an argument. I stepped away to get some air and when I got back I found him.

I’ve been going to therapy to try to process this but I can’t help but think that this was my fault. Seeing his photos or videos is too painful as it gives me flashbacks on how I found him so I just avoid it. So there’s another level of guilt for not “grieving him properly”.

Hi friends. Im new to the club. Today is day 3 since my person passed after battling end stage cancer for over 3 years.
We were together 32 years. He was my entire world. I’m grateful to have found this group. Struggling to find words to talk with friends & family is impossible. If I’m able to find words, it all comes out as blubbering gibberish as talking triggers crying. I’m on day 3 and not wanting to connect with people. No idea how I’ll move forward. So many questions and zero motivation to do anything. How much time is ok to stay in seclusion? How do you all give yourselves grace? Thanks for listening.

I am in my 60’s and my spouse passed away 5 months ago. I find on here that there are a lot of widows way younger. I can’t imagine being younger and experiencing this pain. This is so different. What did the spouse die of? Just curious and wish you the best.

Six months ago I laid him to rest. He was my peace and my sunshine. And then suddenly he died. He had a stroke, went into a coma, went on life support and died. That all happened in 72 hours. And then he was truly gone. I am a widow. Most of the time I am just numb. And then the wave will come in between. I cry and cry. Today I am grateful because I knew someone who loved completely and wholeheartedly. Tomorrow I may feel different but today I am so grateful to have known him. My Bubu may u rest in peace 🕊️

My husband just passed away 1 week and 1 day ago. I’ve been barely hanging on. I was searching through his laptop for documents and came across porn. This is shattering my fragile peace had. He was 43 so I assumed it happened, but downloaded? I don’t know why this is killing me. I am a chubby 40 year old who is clearly aging. This has got me spiraling. I’m not even sure what I’m asking for. I just never thought I’d find this. Not now, anyway. He’s not here to reassure me I’m beautiful just how I am, or that he loves me, or that I’m enough. I’m alone.

I lost Michael April 9 and I feel so much guilt. I keep thinking that if I had stayed home from work that night would he still be with me. I absolutely don’t know how to be without him. He is definitely my soulmate.

I go to bed crying and wake up crying. I lost my husband last week. He was only 42. I wish I could change it somehow. The pain is so hard to bear.

I write my thoughts in a book… for someone to read one day when I’m not here.

The BEST feeling in adult life is;
BEING IN LOVE AND BEING LOVED BACK.
You are happy.
You are content.
You feel fulfilled.
You feel complete.
You feel part of something, of someone.
You feel you matter.
That there is someone not blood related, who chose you to be their ONE.

There is no other feeling like that.
The sad thing is, you only truly realise this when it’s gone.
And there’s nothing you can do. 💔😢

F60. 9 months in.

i’m here.
just feeling really heavy today.

i think i’ve become the person everyone comes to when they need comfort, advice, support, reassurance, also having to carry my in-laws emotions along with my family drama … and i’m grateful people feel safe with me, but sometimes it gets exhausting carrying everyone while trying to carry myself too.

some days i wish someone would notice i’m tired without me having to say it. has anyone else gone through this? how do you handle it ?