u/sitara-starr

I was afraid of widows fire would be a thing for me. I ended up going on dating apps to meet ppl because I work from home full-time.

I met this guy and we talked for a month. And we met up yesterday and the chemistry was really insane. We ended up going on a drive, he kissed my hand and everything. We took dinner to go to have at his place and once we got there, things got out of hand.

He was saying he wanted to please me since it’s been so long and wanted to make me feel good. We didn’t go all the way but it was more than I was expecting.

On the drive back I felt so sick to my stomach. Like I have to succumb to this and feeling empty and alone. Like I can never be in love. I don’t know what is wrong with me that I even agreed to meet this loser of a guy.

How do u talk about ur late partner. In the sense that do u bring them a lot or seldom.

I started talking to someone for the first time since my husband passed and I don’t want to scare him away with all my baggage. Sometimes I feel my entire personality was built with my husband.

The guy is super sweet and is taking things slow and I appreciate it so much. Just want some advice.

My husband passed away in Jan this year suddenly. We didn’t even turn 40 yet. Married for 8 years

When he passed I found out he was having an affair throughout our entire marriage. And so was I. His affair got exposed to his entire family. And yet I’m here, feeling so much guilt and anger. He spent more time with his affair and lied to me, got her gifts and even gave my things to her. While I barely saw my AP once a year. No gifts. Just a stupid emotional affair that I broke up with for years at a time cuz I didn’t care about him but I suppose we were truma bonded since we met in our 20s.

When my husband passed , I sent a message to my AP. I told him it was sudden, he died at a friends house and his friends told me that he was missing his girlfriend because she broke up with him months ago. The last thing he told them was that I had ended our marriage. I never ever thought about anything divorce. I was content in my marriage. I was his convenience.

I know in my gut that my husband died of a broken heart. He was planning to marry that girl but she broke it off months ago. What was I?

So when I told AP the police are investigating. He went silent for a week. When he popped back up he said he was avoiding me because they might have checked my phone. I didn’t care.

In the 2 months he came to see me once. Empty handed while I was home alone, just to fuck. While strangers have come to see me brought me food and care packages. He didn’t bother with Valentine’s Day either which hurt. I relaized long ago that expectations are a lost cause. I gave in to fucking him because I was in deep grief and wanted to feel something.

I blocked him in March right before my birthday because he never in the past did anything for me. Since then he has been contacting me on all weird platforms where I’ve been ignoring him.

The last straw was when he emailed me 20 times, asking if I’m ok or saying unblock him and called me from a weird number.

I replied with something that put the nail in our affair “contact me again, and I’ll call your wife”. Honestly that was a bluff. I have no intentions to call his wife. I could give a shit. But saying that I knewww he would get spooked and stop.

That’s it. I knew that’ll do it. I’ll never hear from him again. I just need to get this off my chest. I’m so over his shit behaviour. I don’t care anymore. My whole world is flipped upside down.

From my loss, I will never go back to being anyone’s second choice. These men never fully loved me. Only took what I offered them. Used me and never chose me. I was never loved out loud. I hope and pray they one day I’ll be with someone who’s proud of me.