5yo NK physically attacking me and younger siblings during explosive anger outbursts: advice needed on quitting due to behavior
I have been with my NF over 2 years. I was there for 10mo and 3yo NK’s entire lives and with 5yo with severe behavioral issues since he was a toddler. I didn’t want it to get to this point, but today 5yo jumped on while I was sitting on the floor put a nerf gun directly in my face and shot me. He screamed he was going to kill me. This occurred after he put 3yo in a chokehold and shot him saying the same thing. These behaviors and violent outbursts are an ongoing issue.
He was supposed to be in camp this summer, but due to behavior he is not. Due to his behavior, we are all stuck at the house, we can’t do outings. I am alone with this behavior 40+ hours a week and beyond burnt out. The physical aggression towards me and younger NKs has significantly increased since the start of summer and quite honestly I fear the younger NKs getting seriously hurt by him on my watch. I also certainly can’t provide them with enrichment they deserve while our entire day is revolving around explosive tantrums from 5yo and I’m emotionally drained. Every de-escalation method I’ve tried with 5yo triggers him more and I am out of options. His main triggers are not getting his way and younger NKs just existing basically. I’m not okay with sitting here while he traumatizes his younger siblings. I grew up with friends that had a sibling like that. It is a trauma. I have never been in this position before and I have felt like a terrible nanny for months. It’s significantly tolling on my health at this point too. Previous conversations with MB haven’t resulted in change, but tomorrow I will try again and finally bring up how I can’t stay under these conditions. Ultimately I’m preparing for that to not go over well and this job to come to an end which breaks my heart. I’m looking for advice or feedback from anyone that’s been in a similar position.
This would also be my first time quitting due to behavior and possibly not getting a reference. I don’t know how to go into a future interview with that and no reference from the job I have spent the last 2 and a half years at.