u/AnxiousAndLame

My boyfriend break my heart today

I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 12 years. We have a 5 year old together. Our entire lives are built around each other.

He has had mental issues since our child was born and there isn’t a single thing I can do to help or make the situation better, but at the end of the day, I am always wrong and he is always right.

He abuses me mentally and verbally.
I’ve always tried supporting him in hopes one day things will get better.

Whilst planning out our date for our 12 year he told me he isn’t happy anymore because all we do is fight (which is him getting upset at me for not saying or doing the right thing like I read his mind or something and then he yells and calls me names over it)

He told me this through text. Then said he needs to be honest, that he isn’t attracted to me physically, mentally or emotionally anymore.

So I left work crying told him that I would do anything. He told me I need to make some major life changes and that I’m fat and ugly and he doesn’t find me attractive anymore and that my chin touches my collar bones.

This comes after I made the effort to lose 50lbs whilst unemployed. Then I got a job, started sitting at a desk all day and never have a single moment to myself.

I’ve always been fat. I was fat when we met, I was fat when we started dating, I’ve been fat for the entire relationship. I’m not even at my biggest size now.

I’m feeling guilty about how I reacted to a situation that happened and wanted to know if I was an asshole.

My significant other was taking our daughter to daycare after dropping me off at work. It’s been an exceedingly difficult week. Our car suddenly had the check engine light and it was flashing. He immediately went to the closest car shop, a company we are not found of as it is.

He was crying and apparently the employee said something to our daughter along the lines of “you are keeping it together better than your daddy.”

He texted me and told me what happened.

I called and asked to speak to the manager. She said she was the only person there and no manager was available.

So I told her that she was there helping my significant other, and I do not appreciate what she said to our daughter regarding him being upset. I told her she works in a customer facing industry and the expectation is she is meant to be polite. I asked her in what world is it okay to mock a man when he is clearly going through something.

I asked for the managers name and what time they would be in. And I told her she needs to apologize to both him and my daughter because that comment was inappropriate.

She did all of that and my boyfriend said she was very apologetic and offered to give us a discount (we still went elsewhere)

After they left I called back and had another conversation with her. I told her that I appreciate that she was apologetic and I thanked her for her help.

She said she has no idea why she said what she did and she is normally like that.

I told her I understand, everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes. I just asked her to be mindful that you don’t know what a customer is going through and empathy is better is someone is crying or upset.

I told her I would not be speaking to her manager and thanked her for her help.

I feel like I had a moment and was the asshole.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I explicitly told her I would call back and speak with her manager.