u/AnxiousSavings1691

I don't know if this even qualifies as emotional neglect but.. do anyone else's parent(s) habitually misinterpret/are confused by very simple things you say to them?

It's hard to give an example, but sometimes i'll mention something and i'll use a specific word/phrase or whatever, and even when i explain in detail/rephrase what i mean, my mom will still find a way to misinterpret what i'm saying? I obviously understand not getting something the first time or not knowing some words etc. but she seems to do it as a power move, to make me feel as though what i'm saying makes no sense - it happens almost every time i try to talk with her.

I haven't had issues like this with anyone else. She does it to other people too sometimes, but mostly it doesn't bother them/they don't notice. But i do and it makes me feel like i have to overexplain everything, i feel insecure about anything i say to her. She also has a habit of believing she's right and *others* have to prove themselves to her, she doesn't seem to view conversation as a two-way exchange between equals.

Does anyone else experience this and/or has an explanation for it?

When i was a child i was very curious (as are most children) and i would ask questions (as do most children). I feel like my parents never bothered to explain anything to me. I understand that kids sometimes ask questions about things adults feel embarrassed/awkward about, but if you're so emotionally constipated that you can't explain normal parts of life to a child in an appropriate way, then i'm sorry but you probably shouldn't have children.

At some point it comes down to the child's wellbeing, too. My mother never bothered to explain anything about menstruation to me, or other topics relevant in puberty. I was always made to feel a lot of shame about it because everything was so hush-hush. I totally understand that my parents inherited that from their own parents, but i still think it's very irresponsible. And my mother would always be surprised why i didn't trust them with anything - it's because i was made to feel ashamed of normal things.

i'm sure other people struggle with this.. but i'll be in class sometimes and during break people will form a circle and just talk about whatever. i actually have stuff to say but the idea of going up to a group and standing there and everyone knowing i want to join in.. it feels SO humiliating, embarrassing and attention-seeking, even though it's entirely normal. it makes me feel crazy. and i feel like i've already established myself as the quiet one who never joins in so doing it now would be extra embarrassing..

I've always been more of a 'studious' type of person (kind of a nerd) and not very social at all. My mother is almost opposite in a way, and she mostly ever asks me about my social life and my friends (of which i don't really have any lol). She does care about my studies a bit too, but is mostly interested in grades and exams, not so much about my interests as a whole. She would also be pretty dismissive or sometimes even subtly shame me for my interests ever since i was little, so it's not so surprising. It just kind of feels like she wants me to be this social butterfly even though that's literally never been my thing. Her questions about my social life make me nervous because i don't want to lie to her or embarrass myself, so i just end up avoiding them/giving super short and dry answers.