u/Anxious_Swimmer_7578

um looking for physics , chemistry and biology english medium too...

So I met a guy a few months ago, and I guess you can say we got close and all. He used to rant mainly about his ex-relationship and everything. He still has to interact with her for certain reasons, and he gets hurt really badly from it. Other than that, he has a lot of similar regrets, and he doesn't seem to have even a needle pin of love for himself at all—neither can I get him to.

Back when he would rant, I thought of trying to talk it out at times, giving "advice." I know you shouldn't do that, but yeah, I did. I don't know why, either. Sometimes I'd just hear him out, but usually, I'd try to point out the obvious toxicity of that girl and try to make it make sense. He knows it too, but yeah.

Lately, I felt as if he stopped doing it, and today I think I confirmed it. He said today that he wants to rant badly but can't because no one understands him and his stuff. That really, really, to the core, broke my heart, though I didn't say or show it to him. It was to the point where I had to cry, and it still affects me. I don't know, man.

Another thing I'd like to say—dunno whether it's necessary or not—but I did get kinda frustrated with him not even trying to love himself, go socialize a bit, or do anything. You know, always saying the same things and justifying her toxicity. Mind you, this girl is the definition of it. And still, though I did listen, I never once mentioned that frustration to him, of course. Also, I do know healing takes time, I know that, but he's degrading himself and it hurts when he says certain things about himself. It hurts even more that I can't help. There is nothing I can do, too; I know one should help themselves, but the fact that he's stopped ranting to me too hurts and breaks me so, so much.

We never even chat much now. He says he's in pain and then just goes. I guess I was wrong in approaching him. I mean, it was probably that, I don't know, man. This really hurts me, I can't even explain it. It may sound stupid, but it does.

Is there any way I can get him to rant back to me about his problems and share them with me? And if I could, is there any way I can approach him? It's really hard with him. If I give advice or say something, he thinks I don't understand him. If I just stay silent and listen with "hm", "I know", or "I get you"s, he takes that the other way too... I think. I don't know.