u/Any-Low-9414

I stopped taking antibiotics and antivirals about three months ago. I was taking them for about 1.5 years multiple times a week for cancer related reasons. My immune system is now strong enough to get off them, but my skin has been unhappy with me since. My skin has always been some level of combination and some level of sensitive.

My skin barrier lost its mind. It took me till now to figure out something that calmed it down some and improved the dehydration issue (and peeling). However, my pores continue to be very clogged all around my t-zone, and they occasionally develop into whiteheads. I also feel my skin looks duller than it used to back when I could tolerate more actives (unfortunately had peri derm, diagnosed not long before the cancer).

I've now pared down the barrier repair products because my pores started protesting all the extra emollience, but this is where I am right now (I do swap a couple things occasionally but I return to these):

Cleanser: Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser (I remove makeup first with a microfiber cloth with warm water and use the CeraVe micellar water if need be - used to use the Beauty of Joseon cleansing balm but ran out).

Moisturizer: CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion PM (right on top of the La Roche Posay thermal spring water and No Cosmetics hydrochloric acid spray).

SPF: (Inconsistent) Beauty of Joseon (Aqua version) - it's the best I could find so far in terms of not actively breaking me out, but I feel that throughout the day my pores still get a bit more clogged using it a few days in a row.

Once a week (started last week): Paula's Choice BHA

Once in a while: Beauty of Joseon Red Bean pore mask (very gentle take on clay masks and seems to help for a bit without feeling stripping).

I also eat a healthy diet. Definitely noticed worsening around my current period, and I do have PCOS - but my skin was very calm on the antibiotics and before them with my very simplified peri derm routine at the time.

How do I help my skin texture without re-triggering a barrier meltdown?

I [31F] didn't set out to have an actual "glow up". I find the whole discourse about it kind of nauseatingly hyper-capitalistic, and I've never actively tried to do it.

What did happen is that I finished chemo a year ago with significant excess weight on me. My cancer is already potentially chronic and not considered fully curable. I've had issues with my weight my entire adult life (and teens) to some degree, but this time the gradual gain from not knowing I had cancer (less activity, more fatigue -> needing more calories etc.), then from cancer treatment itself (steroids suck) reshuffled my priorities around the topic. I wanted my agency back everywhere I could. It wasn't remotely about beauty.

Fast forward a year, and I'm doing well in most aspects of my life (career, friends, family, routines/hobbies, mental health etc.) - I dare say, in many ways, better than ever. Cancer treatments have gone well. Post traumatic growth is pretty cool.

And yes, I've lost the weight and then some. I'm about 44 pounds lighter and back at the gym (cramped as hell as I type this). I've also revamped my whole style because it was so exciting to have the energy to play with girly things again, so it's a huge visual change essentially from head to toe. I get compliments constantly. People (men) stare at me more.

It is a full-on traditional "glow up" that happened just because I was determined to give cancer the middle finger.

And you know what? My dating life still sucks ass!

The apps are still a miserable experience, I somehow almost never meet single men "organically" despite living in a big city full of 'em (and trust me I have resumed my social life with a vigor), and just yesterday a guy I'd been talking to for about 10 days, with which I've had one very fun date, told me out of the blue he wasn't interested in continuing after being very effusive about me before that.

I don't know if this is depressing or comforting or a bit of both, but there's something kind of vulnerable about not having excuses anymore. Dating is hard right now in a specifically depressing way and I can't fix it, and it sucks to sit with this uncontrollable situation without the "comfort" of thinking that it will finally be better if I "just do X". It's also hard to imagine that maybe now someone could just reject you for reasons you can't optimize away, because humans are messy and convoluted even to ourselves.

Just thought I'd share, because it's been weighing one me (lol) for a minute.