Hive mind

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Friend on student visa. Second year of computer engineering masters degree. 3.9 gpa- great kid. Double major in electrical and computer engineering. Does math for fun. Super hard worker. Good communicator. I'm a professor- trust me, this kid is top notch.

As of today, victim of domestic violence from strict parents.

Has left his home and temporarily staying with me.

Going back to home country not an option. He doesn't know anyone there. Has spent most of life in U.S.

He needs one of two things:

  1. A full time job that will sponsor him. (Design Verification or software engineering is his jam). He's been applying but nothing so far.

  2. Emergency funding for tuition to finish second year of Masters degree in Computer Engineering.

I need IDEAS. All of the ideas.

Resources. Ideas. Strategies.

Contacts for anyone at a uni that needs a researcher?

Thank you!

reddit.com
u/Any-Satisfaction1442 — 7 hours ago
▲ 19 r/DesignVerification+1 crossposts

Hive mind

Fellow higher ed peeps

Daughter's 22 yr old boyfriend on student visa. Second year of computer engineering masters degree. 3.9 gpa- great kid. Double major in electrical and computer engineering. Does math for fun. Super hard worker. Good communicator. I'm a professor- trust me, this kid is top notch.

As of today, victim of domestic violence from strict parents.

Has left his home and temporarily staying with me.

Going back to home country not an option. He doesn't know anyone there. Has spent most of life in U.S.

He needs one of two things:

  1. A full time job that will sponsor him. (Design Verification is his jam). He's been applying but nothing so far.

  2. Emergency funding for tuition to finish second year of Masters degree in Computer Engineering.

I need IDEAS. All of the ideas.

Resources. Ideas. Strategies.

Contacts for anyone at a uni that needs a researcher?

Thank you!

reddit.com
u/Any-Satisfaction1442 — 21 hours ago
▲ 26 r/IndianWomen+1 crossposts

Help me understand Indian women/moms?

Hi. This is about Indian moms and not about relationships, which is why I did not post it under the relationship flair

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My 20-year-old American daughter has been dating a 22-year-old Indian young man. They met at college. He introduced her to his parents right away and they seemed to like her. We are in US

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About 6 months in, they sat her down and demanded that she share her location with them on her phone and stated that she now "belonged" to them. She did not share her location. The mother looked through my daughter's purse and saw she was on medication and absolutely lost her mind.

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Now we're a little over a year into this relationship and his parents have become extremely controlling and as a mom, I'm getting a little concerned.

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The relationship between the two of them is fine. His parents are the biggest problem.

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Here are some of the things that have happened in the last few months:

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  1. They have forbidden him to see her more than once a month. Even at school (they aren't even there, they are like 2 hours away but of course they have his location so they can see where he is)

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  1. His mother goes to extreme length to make sure he is super busy so he doesn't have time to talk to her.

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  1. His mother has called my daughter disrespectful. I understand that means something different in the Indian culture than it does in the American culture. Still really hard not to take that personally. My daughter is polite, quiet and sweet. She is supportive and very empathetic to people and animals.

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  1. His mother called the host of a party that they were both invited to and insisted they disinvite my daughter.

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  1. Most recently his parents sat him down and asked him what he was going to do when my daughter breaks up with him. By the way this was after the mother told him that my daughter would absolutely leave him.

His mother told my daughter she looked like she had gained weight. (This sent me over the edge. No one should be commenting about anyone's weight!)

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  1. His parents have stated that my husband and I must not be taking the relationship "seriously" because they have not met my husband yet. They live 3 hours away and my husband travels a lot. And at this point I'm not really motivated to have them over given what they've said about my daughter. I have traveled to meet them twice.

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I'm just at a loss here.

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What do I do? In American culture we kind of let our kids deal with their relationship problems on their own. It is getting very difficult to leave my daughter to figure this out. I feel like this woman is just steamrolling right over her.

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The guy is on a student Visa and financially depends on his parents outside of a small part-time job he has at school. He's not in a position to really question them, I guess. He really doesn't have leverage.

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Should I be reaching out to his mother? It's taken every bit of self-restraint for me not to drive over there and give her a piece of my mind. That's probably not going to help things. Is there some sort of approach I should be taking here with his mother to try and get her to leave them alone?

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My daughter and this guy really like each other. My husband and I also like him. He's very kind to her and very thoughtful. He's emotionally intelligent and respects her.

Let me just say on the side that I'm really disappointed. When I met her she seemed to be so progressive. I tried to learn about Indian culture before I met them in person so I wouldn't offend anyone. I was hopeful we could be friends.

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reddit.com
u/Any-Satisfaction1442 — 21 days ago