u/Any-Translator-1724

I’m currently a master’s student in Europe. Before coming here, I paid for everything myself—my visa, flights, legal documents, and other moving expenses—using savings from my previous job.

By chance, I ended up living in student housing in a city different from where I study. The housing was established by a wealthy benefactor centuries ago and is now funded through a trust, government support, and donations. Most residents are scholarship students, but I wasn’t eligible because I’m an international student and didn’t take the local entrance exams. PhD students who receive a salary are expected to pay rent.

A few months ago, I spoke with the director about my rent because I was planning to pay it using wages that a former employer legally owed me. Unfortunately, I never received that money. The director simply said, “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Pay whenever you can.”

About a week ago, we met again since I’m leaving at the end of the summer. He asked how I’d been supporting myself without a salary, and I explained that I had savings at first and that my family has since been helping me. We also talked about my experience living here. I told him that I’d had a wonderful time, but I couldn’t afford to travel around the country, which was disappointing. I said that despite that, I was proud of myself for moving abroad and managing everything on my own.
At the end of the meeting, he told me, “Pay whatever you can, and if you can’t, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

A few days later, my family unexpectedly sent me €1,000 to help pay the rent. The full amount I owe would be around €3,000, so this would only cover about one-third of it.
Now I’m conflicted.
On one hand, the director seemed to forgive the debt and genuinely told me not to worry if I couldn’t pay. On the other hand, my family sent me this money specifically to help with the rent.

Would it be more ethical to:
Pay the €1,000 toward the rent anyway, even though the director implied I don’t have to?
Or use it to travel and experience the country before I leave, since this may be my only opportunity to do so?

Thank you.

I’m currently a master’s student in Europe.

Before coming here, I paid for everything myself—my visa, flights, legal documents, and other moving expenses—using savings from my previous job.

By chance, I ended up living in student housing in a city different from where I study. The housing was established by a wealthy benefactor centuries ago and is now funded through a trust, government support, and donations. Most residents are scholarship students, but I wasn’t eligible because I’m an international student and didn’t take the local entrance exams. PhD students who receive a salary are expected to pay rent.

A few months ago, I spoke with the director about my rent because I was planning to pay it using wages that a former employer legally owed me. Unfortunately, I never received that money. The director simply said, “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Pay whenever you can.”

About a week ago, we met again since I’m leaving at the end of the summer. He asked how I’d been supporting myself without a salary, and I explained that I had savings at first and that my family has since been helping me. We also talked about my experience living here. I told him that I’d had a wonderful time, but I couldn’t afford to travel around the country, which was disappointing. I said that despite that, I was proud of myself for moving abroad and managing everything on my own.
At the end of the meeting, he told me, “Pay whatever you can, and if you can’t, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

A few days later, my family unexpectedly sent me €1,000 to help pay the rent. The full amount I owe would be around €3,000, so this would only cover about one-third of it.

Now I’m conflicted.
On one hand, the director seemed to forgive the debt and genuinely told me not to worry if I couldn’t pay.
On the other hand, my family sent me this money specifically to help with the rent.
Would it be more ethical to:
Pay the €1,000 toward the rent anyway, even though the director implied I don’t have to?
Or use it to travel and experience the country before I leave, since this may be my only opportunity to do so?

I’m really upset about this and so mad at myself.

I will say it all here because if I’m worried if I don’t mention sth it can maybe lead to an advice not given.

Hi, I’m a 26 year old female, cw:82kg h:154,5 cm,.

when I was a child I was thin (like bones thin and got made fun of it too), when I turned 9, my family went through a bad financial situation, even before that my parents weren’t the active sports kind but I went to the park, swimming, summer holidays at my grandparents back home where walking and being active happened naturally, then it stopped and I gained weight and at 10 I got my period, led to more weight gain and extremely less active as my dad tightened his hold on me and I wasn’t allowed places anymore as he was worried of bad influence, so I was stuck home and the only thing I could do was eat.

When i reached 13 years old my parents decided to encourage me to lose weight during the summer to get a prize at the end of it, which I did and i lost some weight, to be honest I have no memory of how much i weighed at that point, years pass and I gain weight again, and from my very faint memory i think i was in the 70s in high school, my parents decided all I had to was stop eating so much with nothing else, which was yeah i had to eat less but when you are stuck at home with nothing to do and bored as hell, not allowed to go anywhere??? I kept gaining weight rapidly during that time my period was still normal, came every month lasted 3 days, no pain and stopped till the month after.

In college I ballooned to the 80s and at the end of 2021, I got diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis) now I don’t think that has anything to do with it but again I want to mention everything, in February 2022 I got on accutane for bad acne, I believe this where the hormonal mess increased further more, first month on it my period goes missing which is unusual for me bc my period up to that point was very consistent, I bring it up with my dermatologist she says “no it has nothing to do with it”, my period disappear for approx 60 days, come back inconsistently afterwards, in sep/oct my period come and finishes and a week later its back again, I bring up the PCOS possibility to a nutritionist,she just looked at me and said “I don’t look like I have it”????? Weird and for family reasons I didn’t follow through.

Fast forward to 2023, during ramadan my period goes missing again and now it was up to approx 80 days, and I immediately realised I need to see a gyno, I do and I got diagnosed with PCOS, the doctor focuses more on the period aspect that my weight which I believe at this point was 93kg, I do a blood tests she declares I’m pre-diabetes and puts me on glucophage for 3 months, my period goes back to normal but my weight does not move.

By 2024, my period is okay but my weight does not budge, I diet and after fights with my dad about it, I enter the gym and I don’t lose weight at all. I decided to go on wegovy and was on it for 5 months then decided to be on mounjaro for a month a half (split doses), I lose 10kgs which after weekly throwing up and complete appetite suppressing was way too little but I took the win.

At the end of 2025 I decided I needed a change in life, I applied abroad for a program and got accepted (Southern Europe) I’ve been here sine Jan but before that in Nov/Dec 2025, my period goes missing again and I was put on glucophage and Berberine by my gyno and told me “the very active lifestyle change will help also” and it did my period immediately went back to normal, I walk 8k-10k steps daily and I’m in a student housing that only provide healthy food with occasional deserts, and I’ve been exercising 3 times a week, everyone I know noticed I lost weight and I went down sizes (mostly L but also can fit in M, before that I was in the XL-2XL territory which mad me so happy) but due to my thesis stress my period goes missing again, now its been two weeks, i immediately book an appointment with an endo and after a whopping 5 months of doing all of that, my weight now is 82kg, I’m so mad so angry at my self at my parents and everything and genuinely what more can I do???? No I don’t want to be a size S, and I don’t think I’ll ever be but I’m still too big and I’m so incredibly frustrated with it all.

I'm really upset about this and so mad at myself.
I will say it all here because if I'm worried if I don't mention sth it can maybe lead to an advice not given.

Hi, I’m a 26 year old female, cw:82kg h:154,5 cm,.

when I was a child I was thin (like bones thin and got made fun of it too), when I turned 9, my family went through a bad financial situation, even before that my parents weren’t the active sports kind but I went to the park, swimming, summer holidays at my grandparents back home where walking and being active happened naturally, then it stopped and I gained weight and at 10 I got my period, led to more weight gain and extremely less active as my dad tightened his hold on me and I wasn’t allowed places anymore as he was worried of bad influence, so I was stuck home and the only thing I could do was eat.

When i reached 13 years old my parents decided to encourage me to lose weight during the summer to get a prize at the end of it, which I did and i lost some weight, to be honest I have no memory of how much i weighed at that point, years pass and I gain weight again, and from my very faint memory i think i was in the 70s in high school, my parents decided all I had to was stop eating so much with nothing else, which was yeah i had to eat less but when you are stuck at home with nothing to do and bored as hell, not allowed to go anywhere??? I kept gaining weight rapidly during that time my period was still normal, came every month lasted 3 days, no pain and stopped till the month after.

In college I ballooned to the 80s and at the end of 2021, I got diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis) now I don’t think that has anything to do with it but again I want to mention everything, in February 2022 I got on accutane for bad acne, I believe this where the hormonal mess increased further more, first month on it my period goes missing which is unusual for me bc my period up to that point was very consistent, I bring it up with my dermatologist she says “no it has nothing to do with it”, my period disappear for approx 60 days, come back inconsistently afterwards, in sep/oct my period come and finishes and a week later its back again, I bring up the PCOS possibility to a nutritionist,she just looked at me and said “I don’t look like I have it”????? Weird and for family reasons I didn’t follow through.

Fast forward to 2023, during ramadan my period goes missing again and now it was up to approx 80 days, and I immediately realised I need to see a gyno, I do and I got diagnosed with PCOS, the doctor focuses more on the period aspect that my weight which I believe at this point was 93kg, I do a blood tests she declares I’m pre-diabetes and puts me on glucophage for 3 months, my period goes back to normal but my weight does not move.

By 2024, my period is okay but my weight does not budge, I diet and after fights with my dad about it, I enter the gym and I don’t lose weight at all. I decided to go on wegovy and was on it for 5 months then decided to be on mounjaro for a month a half (split doses), I lose 10kgs which after weekly throwing up and complete appetite suppressing was way too little but I took the win.

At the end of 2025 I decided I needed a change in life, I applied abroad for a program and got accepted (Southern Europe) I’ve been here sine Jan but before that in Nov/Dec 2025, my period goes missing again and I was put on glucophage and Berberine by my gyno and told me “the very active lifestyle change will help also” and it did my period immediately went back to normal, I walk 8k-10k steps daily and I’m in a student housing that only provide healthy food with occasional deserts, and I’ve been exercising 3 times a week, everyone I know noticed I lost weight and I went down sizes (mostly L but also can fit in M, before that I was in the XL-2XL territory which mad me so happy) but due to my thesis stress my period goes missing again, now its been two weeks, i immediately book an appointment with an endo and after a whopping 5 months of doing all of that, my weight now is 82kg, I’m so mad so angry at my self at my parents and everything and genuinely what more can I do????