u/Any-Win-9468

Met a girl the other day, we're friends now and she told me all about her new boyfriend and what he does and what he looks like and she kept joking about how she thinks shes psychic because her man is almost exactly like what she wanted. She proceeded to shoe me this picture she took of the inside of a notebook she had years ago, of a drawing of what her "ideal man" looked like, she also showed me pinterest boards of what his aesthetic would be...and what his job would be and all that. And i found it amusingly shocking because...

Wow. Her boyfriend literally IS that drawing. He IS that Pinterest board.

Yeah of course a few tiny things are different but she GOT what she ordered, 100%.

Now..i dont really believe in manifestation and all that...not exactly. I used to! But that was before i was a christian, anywho, i cant lie. Kind of jealous with how god delivered her guy so quickly — like wheres mine god?? 😭

- but shes saying that its cause shes wished on it so many times and gods finally answered her prayers. Lucky .

My question is though, has anyone ever met the guy they WANTED. Like in your head, say you decided precisely, what type of person your future husband would be ; the way he looked and acts..

Have you actually been successful in finding him ?.

Does that make sense?

Like she met the guy of her dreams...of her dang drawings people! 😅. Has anybody else somehow gotten the partner they always wanted, so alike that it seemed coincidental?

That goes out to everyone. Girls and guys ;) or whatever you are, idc.

It's not the first time I've felt this way..its happened before, but it's been years since I've experienced such emptiness. I noticed the signs, and i know that im relapsing back into depression..im scared because i remember what being depressed was like back in 2022/2023 and it was terrible. Every day, i wanted to end it. It was only through god that i managed to get out of it, but idk this time...

Im so unbelievably upset and angry with everyone and my life, even if it never seems that way. I honestly dont know where all that anger has come from, but it's clearly been festering inside, and now its tryna get out. My family isn't helping..they dont understand things like mental health..my uncle doesn't even believe in it. The only person i know would hear me out - i can't even talk to right now for reasons i can't exactly put into words.

I want to hit something or damage shit or..idk. i just want to let this anger out, and all that peaceful meditation shit isn't working. I keep telling myself that everything i urge to do is wrong..which it is, but im reaching my limit, guys.

That painful ache in my chest every time i think about how pathetic i am is back, and i have no one but myself, and idk what to do. Some of you dont believe in the same god i do and thats fine but for thoae who do..i dont feel like i can hear him anymore..i dont know which thoughts are mine, and im struggling to keep sincere and its pissing me off.

Idk what im asking for here. Im not looking for a comfort convo. My minds too chaotic for that. But please, if you've ever felt something similar, i dont want to become depressed again. I really really dont. It was way too hard to get out of the last one.

Anything would help : <