My ex husband's girlfriend reached out to me - should I respond?
I'm genuinely torn about how to handle this.
I left my emotionally abusive husband about two years ago, and since then he has been pretty relentless about trying to stay in my life. He reaches out all the time, pretty much daily (I have him muted) and he has said on multiple occasions that he would be willing to have any level of relationship that I would allow whether it be friendship, dating each other again, or engaging in intimate acts (which honestly, barf). He has said several times that he hasn't dated anyone since we split and is "working on being happy single". Cool, bro.
I have had to see him occasionally because this doofus refuses to change his mailing address (and trust me I've tried handling this myself and it doesn't seem like there's a way to do it that isn't a felony lol) which I know is just a tactic to keep me in his orbit. I typically grey rock him, and I've also directly told him his behavior is inappropriate. Obviously I do not trust that he's changed and I have moved on with my life.
This morning I got a message from an unknown number from a woman who says she has been his partner for over a year and they currently live together. She says she recently found out that he has been in contact with me despite him saying we have zero relationship, and she wants me to confirm that we're just platonic friends. I don't know how she got my number, or if he knows that she contacted me, but I'm guessing she saw his messages or something and is very (rightfully) confused. I mean, technically we have not slept together since we were married, but that 100% seems to be because I haven't allowed it. This man has literally been trying to get with me the whole time.
I don't know whether to respond to her or just ignore her and block. On one hand, I really feel bad for her because I know what it's like to be deceived to the point of doubting my own instincts, which seems to be the case if she's reaching out to me for clarity after catching him in a lie. I think it's super gross that he's lied about not dating anyone the whole time they've been together, on the off chance I was willing to engage with him again. If it was me I would want to know the truth, and it just feels like the right thing to do.
On the other hand, it took a lot for me to extricate myself from this awful relationship and heal from his abuse, and I don't know if it's wise to get caught up in a mess he made to help someone who may not even take what I say at face value anyway. I think I may be more inclined to talk to her if they were already broken up, because I'm also considering any blow back if what I say to her gets back to him.
Should I respond and be honest with her or should I just leave it alone?
ETA: I truly appreciate all of these responses, thank you. You've all given me a lot to think about. I totally agree that severing ties with him completely and sorting out the mail situation is the top priority. This post is moreso asking for advice on whether or not to respond to her.