Should I 20f stay or go
I’ve been with my boyfriend m20 for 3 years in March. I just finished nursing school for the semester in April. I lost my job in febuary and have been struggling with money and haven’t been able to pay my mom for rent with having no money and it’s been ongoing with me trying to find a job and it’s just not working changing my resume and not getting any jobs. With that my mom kicked me out and I’m living with my bf.
However he’s out of town with work for the whole month so I am stuck in the basement his family lives there but it’s really depressing and lonely not doing anything wit myself I’ve been sewing but it’s hard when I can’t afford to go out and get fabric or my machine keeps breaking . It’s very chaotic living out of a bag not having and organization and I don’t want to stay there bc I don’t want to live there. I did live there before it was the same thing not having a dresser clothes everywhere nowhere to put anything chaotic and stressful just not a home at all. I’m what to leave bc his birthday is coming up and I’m not sure if I should get him something as is that narrsistic and then leave bc I have been with him sometime.
I do go out almost everyday looking for a job calling looking online to see who’s hiring it’s either automatic deny or I hear nothing or there not hirring it’s very exhausting.
I have been trying to leave him for sometime now since I don’t like how he’s been treated me with over the summer he cheated but then I got pregnant (not anymore)need him and it’s this ongoing cycle or having no support and he’s the only one there for me and it’s not fair to him to stay with feeling this way.
I’ve been so stressed and now that I’m finished school I can do something else my grandparents are telling me to come be with them but they lice in a different city 10 hours away there telling me I can come there and I don’t have to work and can reset they can get me thing which is what I do need. But at the same time I just made a friend in 4 years I had no friends before and it has been so lonely I have someone to do summer things with every summer it’s been the same being nothing and last year was the worst with the cheating and pregnancy litterly was ruined. I feel being with my grandparents will keep me away from him and any sort of return but also don’t want to go there bc what I still have to come back and what I’ll have no money and where will I go my moms expecting me to pay or she’ll make up some excuse that no I am a bad person . I have no friends at my grandparents all my cousins are away or 6 year old which I want people my own age. I’m scared it if I go with them then come back I’ll miss out on the jobs openings then come back and we already hired people last week type of thing. I feel like being with them they will support and push me to do things that I’ve never really had and maybe it’s what I’ve been needing.
My friend says I can stay with her for sometime but at the same time I don’t want to put that on her I don’t want to feel like a burden/victim that I have been feeling when I moved into my bf house and I can’t garenteed anything to her what if I get kicked out again and again bc that’s been happening to at my moms. And I feel like staying with her I’ll maybe go back to him somehow.
My credit card is maxed out I can’t afford to have a roommate or really give then anything when I have nothing in my account.
TL:DR should I 20f stay with my friend in the city or live with my grandparents far ways but have no job but support.