u/Apocalypse_Miaow

Hi loves. I have been diagnosed with a chronic bladder condition that means I cannot use insertion, or vibration down there. I can manage intimacy with my partner once or twice a week then will pay for this over the next week.

I'm managing it, but know my days of using toys and hands down there are effectively over.

So, if I can't do those things, what would your advice be?

Would you just be topless, do dirty talk and use toys for blow jobs etc, or would you remove knickers, lady garden visible, bend over etc, maybe dirty talk whilst I do this?

I can't decide whether I should just stick to topless, knickers on, or whether some lady garden action would be better business wise.

If I keep my knickers on then I effectively rebrand as the girl who just is topless. If I take knickers off but can't do penetration then I'm wondering what I do whilst I lie there.

By the way I cannot Dom to save my life- I really do not enjoy it, having tried it before; I do not have the skills required to do this.

A friend has suggested riding or straddling a domi but not actually making contact, but I think this might look obvious.

If any of you ladies have been in a similar boat, how did you circumvent the expectation of clients that we will stuff toys in by way of performance?

I already know I need to brush up on dirty talk; I over relied upon using toys instead of developing my linguistic skills, so more fool me now!

Any advice or experiences are gratefully received!

I saw SK drink straight from the milk carton on the weekend, and when I mentioned I was 99% certain I saw that, SO immediately said "Well I didn't see it so I'm not able to say anything". I felt like my own perception was invalidated. Previously, I believed his son to have damaged some property of mine, as he has past form for this, and my partner immediately said "It could have already have been like that. There is no proof".

When I said to him that both these times have made me feel like my own feelings and beliefs don't matter, he get really annoyed with me, labelled me as emotional, and had such a mean tone when saying "So what do you want me to do" and then flew up the stairs to tell SS I had stated he had drank out of the carton, which he denied, of course.

The next day when I tried to tell him how upsetting his words and his tone was towards me, he said he wasn't being nasty or dismissive at all-yet he was. I said I found it so upsetting to be invalidated, and couldn't believe that he hadn't said sorry for his nastiness when all I wanted was to explain to him how hurtful I found his immediate dismissiveness. His reaction was to say: " Well why don't you break up with me then if you feel that way".

What would you do if you were in my position...I am CF myself, 42 years old, and just feeling so tired of the lack of respect. His son will often just not reply to me if I say hello, and just this weekend, stole my seat as soon as I got up to go to the bathroom (my book and drink were there), sat himself next to my SO, and when I returned and stood next to him, to prompt him to move, didn't move.

When I asked my SO why he didn't ask his kid to move, he replied "I didn't notice".

Am I going crazy, being over sensitive etc, or in the wrong here...I am just so exhausted I cannot think straight. I could be making a big deal out of nothing. I am sensitive, come from a violent childhood, and have a freeze response when things happen.