u/ApolloRed_

My partner recently went through a lot of life stressors in a single month. We've been dating since last year and I love her to bits. Since burnout hit she's pulled away quite a bit as we still live separately. Since she's been in survival mode she's focussing on her kids, longer work hours, moving house, helping out with a sports club and is always exhausted. Her day is basically, wake up early, go to work, come home, sort out dinner for the kids and then go to bed early.

I go over to help with cooking once a week (that's all she's comfortable with at the moment it seems). She initiates calls on her way home from work and we text. Sometimes my calls aren't answered as she's busy helping the kids.

I thought she wanted to break up so I asked her about the relationship when I was over there last time to get some clarity and she said "we're fine", she still wants to get married in the future but she didn't have any time for herself to rest/recover, she's just shattered from exhaustion and she needs to focus on the kids a bit more. I'm now worried I put too much emotional weight on the talk.

I'm just lost as it hurts seeing someone I love go through this. She's like a completely different person at the moment. It's especially tough living separately as in person contact is nearly non-existent and I'm afraid if I send to too many texts or calls it could be overloading her.

My girlfriend hit a massive wall with burnout a month ago and has pulled away from the relationship to focus on her children. We went from daily "I love you" messages and calls to nothing. We live in separate houses and have been dating for nearly a year. I've been offering practical support by cooking and doing general handyman tasks. At the start she was very distant but slowly as the month passed she increased communication more and has recently started using pet names (via text) sporadically more. We call each other nearly every day.

When I'm there it's usually only for an hour or two in the evening (once or twice a week) as that's all the energy she has. She is affectionate in person, sometimes by draping her legs over mine or interlocking our arms on the couch. In messages though she's still a bit cold/short and I've tried not to overload her by sending multiple texts with questions and paragraphs.

Recently she told me she doesn't have any time for herself and seemed overwhelmed/burnt out so that she needed to focus her time and energy on her kids. She said we're fine and she still sees our future together as she brought up marriage and moving in only just prior to the burnout.

Am I supporting her properly and has anyone got any advice on how to reconnect without overloading her?