u/AppleFlavoredBees

When I was 14 years old I was kidnapped, raped, and tortured for two and a half agonizing hours. That man was 20 years old and he was someone I trusted, I didn’t want to do any of that stuff with him but he made me.

He’s in prison now for 20 years, he will then be deported and executed. I don’t want to get into the details of that for the love of god please don’t ask me how I don’t know.

But when he violated me, he took a piece of my body away from me. My left labia. He cut it off and it burned like hell, he violated me while I was bleeding and crying… unable to move out of pain and fear for my life.

I thought I was going to die that day.

Now I have permanent nerve damage in my labia and it’s in constant pain. I’ve had stitches to help but that’s all I could even handle at the time because the thought of someone else touching me down there made me want to vomit, like it was happening all over again.

I was raped several times after this event by my ex boyfriend. He would insist that I do it because “it’s what couples do” and I’d zone out during the repeated rapes so I didn’t have to think about the constant pain.

The repeated rapes before and after being disfigured feels like a punishment from… I don’t know the universe I guess? I did something to deserve the pain and suffering, because if I didn’t then that would mean I went through hell for nothing.

I don’t want to be anyone else’s sex doll, I don’t want to be touched down there, I don’t want to be used anymore. I’m already broken and disfigured, I’m not desirable anymore, what do I have to do to get it to stop?

this is kind of a long shot but i figured id give this a chance since im not sure what to do.

to make a long story short; i was groomed on discord when i was 14 years old, family found out & got mad, forced me off discord until i turned 18.

safe to say, i have (at best) a vague recollection of what the password could be but no ability to actually sign in. logging into my old gmail was a bust, family has no clue what the password could be either.

i’ve been trying to get into my account to gather proof of what happened to me. i don’t know if i should put in a support ticket or what, im willing to do just about anything to prove that i owned that account.

what should i do? i’m 23 now and i’m at my wits end after attempting on and off for going on 5 years now. would discord listen if i submitted a ticket? is it a lost cause?