u/Apprehensive-Emu1754

4-HO-MET, taken on empty stomach most of the times it hits after 15 minutes, visuals are strong they move fast, colors change tonality a bit and breathing, morphing and swirling are very quick and pronounced on the come up. after the come up the morphing breathing etc disappear or get toned down drastrically and the geometry is mainly static. after 1h and a bit on the peak is start to feel sober and the visuals become way weaker, so weak that if i dont stare they go almost unnoticed and it feels like coming down this happened more than one time at doses ranging from 20mg to 30mg. has anyone experienced the same thing? is there any way to fix this?

Hi everyone, I am 20yo and i have always ignored the thought of me being trans because of my mental health, but now it has become impossible to ignore. I am already severely ill and getting better as probably puberty enhanced all the symptoms a lot, and thats why the idea of starting HRT freaks me out, plus all the insecureties about my body as is and how i will look in the future. Really I need an advice, the thought is always in my head and i keep dreaming of people telling me to do it.