u/Apprehensive_Ad_5296

to give a little rundown, i’m 19yrs old & i’ve had FND for 5 years now. i deal with full body tremor episodes, tics, dystonia in my hands + feet, slow/slurred speech & weakness in legs. in december i lost my ability to walk completely & couldn’t walk without a walker until the end of january.

in april, i started a week long program for FND treatment. that week, my symptoms got worse after every session. it’s been a month and my symptoms have worsened since then. i’m developing new tics, and tremors (when i have episodes) & i’m working with PT to see what can help during full body episodes, but we haven’t found much.

i’m really losing hope at a normal life. ever since i was 9 ive been battling with health issues, yet this has been the worst imo bc it’s so unpredictable. i’m starting work soon & im terrified i might have an episode while working.

i’m just so tired of living this way. i’m tired of not feeling like i have no control over my body. i have barely lived my life without health issues getting in the way. it really doesn’t help one bit that ive been struggling with depression for almost 10yrs now. i have lost all motivation, i have lost all hope at getting better. i don’t know why i have to deal with all of this. there’s so much more i could say, idk i just had to get that out. it’s not fair at all

i was wondering if anyone else feels a deep crampy feeling when inserting large dilators? it doesn’t happen everytime but i am on the 7th dilator of the intimate rose set & sometimes i’ll feel really deep achy cramps (more towards my perineum area if that makes sense). fyi it’s not similar to period cramps at all. i asked my PT about it & she said i could just be tighter further inside my vagina, but i’m confused about that bc it’ll just randomly happen. google was saying it could be my cervix? idk

has anyone had luck applying for disability benefits? my symptoms have gotten very bad since december, and i’m supposed to be starting a job next week. FYI i’ve been employed with this job since last summer, but they are just now opening up to the public. right now, im struggling to walk & talk, so i decided to apply for disability benefits. i’m not sure if FND is something that’s sorta “overlooked” with disability but not to get too personal, i have a lot of other health issues going on so i hope that helps my case. i’m just so stressed financially & i have no idea if i can even work this job :( please share your success stories (or if it was denied) regarding SSA benefits

im wondering how to stop getting embarrassed/getting red so easily. it can start from a simple conversation that involves nothing embarrassing. i also turn red if someone randomly approaches me and makes conversation. i don’t understand it because i have no reason to be embarrassed. i’m noticing before i actually turn red, i almost feel lightheaded & then i feel burning in my face/ears.

i’m starting a job next week & with my previous job, i wore foundation every day to cover up if my face got red. now i’m not wearing it anymore but i’m debating on if that would be better (even tho i don’t wear much makeup anymore), just so if i turn red it’s not too visible. i also feel like if i blush in front if someone (typically a guy) they assume im into them or something.

i do have social anxiety, but my previous job helped me with that. i did have to take a 2yr break from work due to a few surgeries i had so i wonder if im going “backwards”. but this is affecting my life because i’m thinking about it so much. i can’t even tell myself “it’s not gonna happen” because it somehow does, even when im NOT thinking about it.

if anyone has any recommendations on how to eliminate a blushing problem, please don’t hesitate to reply/dm. i’m at a point where i’ll try anything to get it to stop.