My husband downloaded Tinder after I kicked him out
I kicked my husband out (together 17years, 3kids) because he had sent an over the line (for me) text to some girl he does business with. He said if she ever needed a work out buddy he was available. He was gone for two/three days and I find out he made a tinder account the same day I let home come home and talk/make love. I went through the messages and he reached out to a few matches.
I was devastated and told him so. He said he was stupid and was r thinking and said he would deactivate it. He left to take the kiddos away. That same night I asked him to stay and talk and found out he kept the app and sent more messages about actually meeting up with someone. We yelled and he said he’s been thinking about it for a while. And asked if he could maybe just take time to go and have sex with other people. Or have an open relationship but only him. I said no! That it would absolutely not be ok. We are trying to work it out.
He is saying that he didn’t know what happened and why he even did those things. I’m/me and the kids are all he wants. I gave him an out and told him he could leave but I just couldn’t be with him after him having sex with other people. He said he won’t. I think the biggest betrayal is that I never had an issue with this, he never hides his phone, he never is shady about things. He is a different person, though the last few years he’s been working out, taking a lot of interest in himself, so I think maybe the overconfidence that’s happening is an issue.
My husband wasn’t a very confident guy, but that’s kind of what I loved about him and he wasn’t cocky. He was just him, not a typical man. But now I’m having a hard time seeing him outside of a typical man. It just happened over the weekend and I want him so very much and I love him, but I’m having a hard time getting over the betrayal part and I feel stupid.