u/Appropriate_Tart1958

Hello my name is Grey and i'm 18F and im trying to save 600 for college but my weekend job only barely pays for my gas to get to work and I cannot find a 2nd job.

Im great with housecleaning, some yard work such a mowing and gardening, pet sitting, baby sitting, sewing and cooking. The only thing I cannot do is general heavy labor because I cannot lift over 100 pounds.

Im willing to travel in a 20 mile radius in joplin and I have a reliable transportation.

If anyone out needs some work done you can count on me!

I (F18) have always struggled with my relationship with my mother. Now, we have our good days. sometimes we don't argue. Keyword: sometimes. Most of the time we are arguing over tiny things.

TW: slight mentions of SH and abuse

All of these examples are just from today.

1st.

My phone took a shit on me. have no passwords or backups saved so the only way to log into anything was to put my sim in her phone. Well, she of course, decided it would be the perfect time to lecture me on how i should've gotten a case and i was just careless and dropped it. (the phone was $40 and i couldn't afford the case. It was cracked but the reason it broke wasn't because i dropped it)

to be fair, i shouldn't have snapped but i told her this wasn't the time to lecture me on something i already know.

2nd.

My dog LOVES my mom and he always nudges her to get her attention. She does have shoulder problems. Well he did his normal nudging and she SHREAKED and hit him as hard as she could.

I. fucking. snapped.

I told her that she has no right to hit my dog. (I did yell) Then she did the thing she always does. She cry's and tells me i always make her out to be the bad guy in every situation.

3rd.

She loaths every word i say. I was trying to talk to her about my alpha gal test results and she sighed, looked at my father with THOSE eyes. the eyes of "shes fucking bothering me. deal with it" and shook her said and muttered under her breath with every word i said.

This is only from today. Not the countless years of fighting, telling me to shut the fuck up, her abuse in my early years. I hate my mom, but i love her because something in my primal brain says i should. When i was 14 and going through a sexually abusive relationship she said that i was difficult, only wanting attention and only agreed to therapy when i started to SH badly.

You may notice that i struggle to spell or use my words correctly. That's because i never got the help i needed for my dylexia or autism. In fact when i brought up me getting dignosed with those things i got told that "my daughter will never been seen as a retard!"

now, if i did get a IEP and got the help i needed i would have exelled. I graduated with a 2.0 gpa because i struggled so badly.

Im sorry if this post is confusing i just needed to vent so i wouldn't lose my mind.

If you made it this far thank you for reading you kind stranger.

-A girl who's struggling