u/Appropriate_Union762

Nobody makes me happy and I don't want to talk to anyone but her. It's so hard to not act crazy trying to talk to het

I'm doing lots of cleaning and outdoor yard work today which has given me more time alone with my thoughts than I'd like. I cannot stop thinking about her and everything that happened. I love that girl and I miss her.

I wanna tell her about all the things going on and just hear her gentle soothing voice again. I love hearing her speak she has a perfect voice. She's so beautiful I miss her. I hope she's ok I haven't spoken to her in quite some time but now I'm blocked so all I can do is pray she reaches out for some reason.

I just bought one of the acoustics but it has since sold out but I want to access the photos and specs.

She didn't used to be like this I don't recognize her anymore. She would despise the person she's become. She used to not need to seek validation and she used to have normal boundaries and she used to be a sweet normal girl. She used to look down on people who did the things she does now and would've stopped associating with people who do the things she's doing.

I feel like a loser begging for her attention while she ignores me. God I hate being a fucking fan.

Why does she think it's cool to just ignore me if she's gonna talk to me at all. I feel like if you choose to be in contact either be normal or don't contact me at all. I think I'm blocked now as well. I wish she would just make up her mind. Things are how they were back in December 2024 when I was begging for her to text me and she would just thumbs up react to my message. Can't she see I care about her??? Why do all of my friends want to talk to me so bad when the one person I care about is allergic to me. This is eerily similar to finals week of last semester when I would have to do calculus problems for 8+ hours only to come back to an empty phone or an angry girlfriend. I'm going to throw away my phone istg. I'm too addicted to it I have to shut it off and put it on the ground to be productive. I just miss her and I wish she cared about me. I'd do anything to start a new chapter with her cause I feel like we could almost begin that. I wanna hear her say I love you again. She tells me to not say I love you and it's so hard. Every time we speak I just become overwhelmed with joy with how much I enjoy talking to her and care about her.

Im going to end it now cause this is too much to deal with. I can't keep doing this and the idea of another 4 years of school on top of whatever the future holds is too much.