Vicious Hell (A 2026 Revision. Part one)
Author's Note: As the title says this is a revision of the [Original 2024 version] (https://old.reddit.com/r/libraryofshadows/comments/17lqp47/vicious_hell_part_one_of_two/)
The original story was a pavement into my writing as it is now and I had rushed it out at the time for Halloween and ended up missing it by days. I'm still proud of it as at the time it was the darkest story I had written. No spoilers here. But I'm closing to work fluidly between this and my other story Hue Incubation. Challenging with clarity and a clean vision with no impediments to rush or hurry. I hope you enjoy part one of Vicious Hell.
"I was a failed abortion. Did I ever tell you that?"
"I remembered you mention it in passing a few times. Never saying it out loud like this though. What changed for you?"
"I started to have dreams," Agnes said softly, calmly, almost detached.
Her slender fingers raised her half finished cigarette to her thin lips and inhaled the poison, feeling a nicotine rush hit immediately in her chest. She let it saturate in her lungs before letting out a soft sigh with smoke escaping subtly and continued on.
"It's brought back what she said. How she said it,"
"How did she say it Agnes," her therapist ventured softly, realizing obviously the door she was opening.
"Like how I'm talking now. Calm and detached. Like it was such a trivial, mundane topic,"
"I see," he looked in her calm and clear celadon eyes for a moment of recognition before writing down, Agnes is processing trauma with clarity.
He looked back up to meet her eyes as he asked softly ,"How did that make you feel Agnes,"
Expecting that same calm detachment.
"Like killing her. I wanted to kill her once she explained what an abortion was," Agnes said barely above a whisper with rage underlining it in every single syllable. Her eyes not looming at him but at her cigarette, replaying the fantasies she craved would happen.
Lingering in her head like a germinal idea. Only it never came to fruition. She honestly didn't know why it hadn't but maybe her peace was more important than wasting her potential of a life that was filled with promise. She had to think it was God saving her from being ripped apart in the womb by calm and surgical hands. "Do you want to know how she would have done it?" She said still looking at her half finished cigarette leaving wisps of smoke.
"How?"
"With a coat hanger the first two times. She used the most rustiest one so that if she couldn't reach me, she would poison me with that. Hoping it would deform me at the least. That didn't work obviously. I'm still as beautiful as ever. Still healthy. No IQ deficiencies here. Just a rage that won't ever be forgotten and a will not to waste my precious life on her bullshit,"
"I'm truly sorry that a parent can be capable of that,"
Her celadon eyes slowly looked up from her half finished cigarette to her therapist dull chestnut brown eyes and for an inexplicable moment, she feels an instant ignition in her simmering rage. From smoldering to an inferno of hatred that almost makes her snarl before an intense pain starts in the center of her head, targeting both sides. Instead of a snarl she winces as she touches her temple with a calming touch. Her eyes closed as she tries to will away the pain, her incendiary rage forgotten and reduced back to a smoldering and simmering anger beneath every syllable. She finally tunes in her therapists concerned voice as he asks again.
"One of those headaches again, huh?" He asks calmly.
She nods slowly as she takes a drag of her cigarette before looking at him holding out two aspirin and a cup of water. Prepared for this as her headaches became more frequent within the past month. Her eyes drifted to them and she felt a dull ache start in the back of her head. She took the aspirin and cup of water and when she finished she offered the cup back to him.
He simply held up a hand and she nodded as she placed it by the ashtray on his mahogany coffee table between them. The aspirin having immediate soothing effects as it always had as Agnes took another drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ash tray.
He didn't say anything as he watched her with studious eyes. Letting her speak when she was ready.
She touched her temple one last time, amazed at how fast the headache came on this time before she let out a sigh and spoke. "My life is worth everything and I don't want her anywhere in it. Especially in my head when I moved on past her,"
"You're absolutely right to Agnes. Like I was saying I'm truly sorry that a parent can be capable of that when their role is to protect and nurture with love and a vision to see their child have a future worth living for. Worth fighting for. There's this saying that a child is a piece of the parent's heart forever walking out of their body. That piece of her in you-,"
"Don't ever fucking say that again," Agnes snapped suddenly and clearly and coldly, "I mean that. Don't ever say that again to me,"
Her therapists dull brown eyes widened at that. Clearly shocked into a brief silence before he slowly nodded and looked to the left at nothing in particular as he quietly thought.
Agnes felt that headache pickup with an aching throb but didn't give a fuck as she pulled out another cigarette and lit it. The nicotine rush calming her more than the aspirin for once.
"You said you were having dreams," her therapist decided to change the subject," What are they about?"
He was still looking to the left before shaking his head and looking down at his notebook with pen in hand. Not looking at her once as she spoke.
Agnes studied his behavior for later analyzation before she spoke with that same simmering anger underneath every syllable.
"It's of this figure...I thought it was of her at first before I realized it was someone I've never met. Something not even real,"
Agnes looked at him while speaking before having to turn her head away for some reason she marked as disgust. She lowered her cigarette as she touched her ear. A nervous tic she sometimes did when she was uncomfortable