u/AreaOne8012

I'm kinda addicted to porn but in the way I could stop if I rlly wanted to I've just completely lost the will to do so. I'm also very addicted to the idea of being raped. I'll think abt it a lot and kinda get off to it and i hate it. I'm also a lesbian and it's primarily being raped by a man that I picture and I actually want to throw up thinking abt it yet I continue to do so. I'm 15 and I just wish I could live a normal life I feel disgusting wtf am j meant to do. It's been like this since I was abt 11 and (warning I'm abt to be rlly tmi) I've been touching myself since I was abt 7 and I genuinely feel like I can't go a day without it. I actually feel disgusting wtf do I do

I no longer rlly get feelings as strong as I used to. Don't get me wrong I think abt her a lot but now where near as much as before. While I still freak out talking to her it's more on a minor level. I've liked her for over a year so maybe I'm losing hope?

I've gotten other crushes while liking her but they were no where near as bad. I still cannot fathom choosing anyone over her, she is perfect I would never like anyone else to the same extent

I don't know what to do. I'm 14 and I think I might be addicted to porn, particularly rape porn. I feel fucking disgusting please help what do I do