I Dont Feel Real, Why?
Im a 22 year old nonbinary person who is about 5ft4in and 120lbs in weight. I take vitamins such as B12 and iron, also supplements like creatine. Im vegetarian since a teen and I recently started hrt.
Right so... Ive been struggling with not feeling like a real person and I dont know why. Like the current version of myself is probably the closest to the real me Ive been and yet it still feels fake, even my memories dont quiet feel like my own and yet I very much did experience those things and they actively impact me and how I behave. A part of me wonders if it relates to the fact that I often mirror people around me if Im with that person(s) for awhile (such as mannerisms, vocalizations, interests, and etc). This issue has led me to experience imposter syndrome frequently throughout my life with things like being adhd and being lgbtq among other things, turns out I am those however it took a long time to accept because of the aforementioned issue. Especially since Ive had periods of time were I have had intrusive thoughts about if I am ocd, bpd, have a form of osdd, and other things of that nature which I am not and that caused a lot of stress despite trying to reassure myself that I am not those things...
I want to be real and yet I dont feel like I am, whats going on?