u/Arkana-1

I saw my darling today.

They were with someone else.

Someone I've considered my biggest rival.

I've never seen my darling alone, always with that person since I was discarded.

I guess my darling lied to me when they said they just weren't really ready for a relationship.

I guess when they wished for someone obsessive they didn't really mean it.

Perhaps my heart can finally let go. In my mind I've known for some time. But I'm a loyal soul. It took seeing my darling with another. Someone they told me I shouldn't ever worry about... To know they probably threw me away because they weren't loyal to me in the first place.

This is the end isn't it. Another heartbreak. Another liar that managed to trap my heart for such a long time.

What should I do now? What if I stop chasing... Will I ever meet someone like my darling again? Will I finally meet someone who isn't just pretending to be obsessed with me?

Who knows...

So a quarter year ago my Darling left me out of the blue. They said it was too much for them and they couldn't take it anymore. My darling told me they loved me but it wasn't enough. They cried and kissed me and then disappeared. They broke off all contact. During this time I have made major progress with myself. I've fixed most of the things that put strain on our relationship. I've tried to follow the advice I kept getting and move on but I can't. My darling and I were obsessed with one another. It went both ways and was beautiful. That's the reason the breakup caught me so off guard, they really were one week kisses and family planning and the next week I am unsure I want this and I'm breaking our promise to stay together forever. I've been telling myself keeping distance is the best thing to do but now I'm not so sure anymore.

I want to win my Darling back! I have this idea that it's possible, this intangible feeling drawing me to them. What should I do? I've been holding back and focusing my obsession into art and work. The drive I have to reunite with my darling seems different, cleaner or more pure, than before. I also have this nagging thought that if I don't try absolutely everything to save our connection, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

What is your opinion? Can I succeed? Should I even let my heart chart the course? Was I wrong to hold back?

My Darling left me out of the blue about three months ago, citing "cold feet". We were both obsessed with one another. Darling made me promise marriage and unending loyalty. Both things I also want so I knew I could keep my promise. My Darling would constantly make jokes about tying me up in the basement and not letting me go. My obsession was softer but more constant. I would pick my Darling up from work or appointments, leaving everything at the drop of a hat in order to be there in time. Time with my Darling was my most valuable resource I would trade anything for it. At my Darling's wish to move in together I started searching for Apartments as well. A thorn in my side was their best friend who they'd spend increasingly more time with. Even going so far as to cancel plans with me in order to hang out with them. I went with it for a while, stating to myself that there was no chance they would do anything romantic together. I also wanted my darling to have a healthy social life, thinking it would be good for them. Once I expressed my dismay my darling accommodated me and my need for more closeness. Shortly after though my darling ended things all of a sudden. We had little to no contact the first two months. Then my Darling deleted all social accounts and my number basically after sending me another break up text out of the blue. I called my darling and got the answer that they couldn't let go and stop thinking of me unless they removed all traces of me from their life.

Warning! (Implications of self harm)

Ever since the first break up it's been hard. I try to keep my distance and let my darling be. But it hurts so much. I love my Darling more than anything. I can't stop it. I want to be with them. I can't comprehend why they broke it off. Why they said they loved me and kissed me as they ended the relationship. It seems so avoidant so I try to give space but I'm scared. I'm scared, it's damaging my will to live. I try my best to function but every day it gets harder and my yearning gets worse. I don't know if my darling will come back to me. I have hope, I know no one fits together better than we do. But it's hard and it gets progressively harder to get out of bed every day. I've stopped eating and I've been having terrible thoughts. I just don't know what to do. I want to do something, seek out my darling but I am worried that I would only drive them further away.

I've recently come to terms with the end of my relationship. I have been obsessed with my darling for over a month even after it ended. I was keeping tabs on everything they did, making sure I knew everything. I knew the intensity of the emotions was real. Now I want to let them go for both our sakes. It feels like I'm betraying my darling though. My love is still there but I know I should let go so that we can both be happy.

Does that make me not yandere? I am fully committed but maybe I shouldn't be if it's not in the interest of my Darling. What do you all think?

Edit for context: my darling just left me out of the blue a bit over a month ago. I've been hoping for us to get back together since then. Everyone is telling me to move on though and I'm struggling with it because it doesn't feel right. I still feel our connection very strongly.

So a few weeks ago my darling all of a sudden left me. She told me she loved me but it wasn't enough and that it was too much for her and that she needed to figure out what she really wanted and focus on her career instead of our relationship.

I couldn't change her mind then so I accepted the break up because if my darling needs some space and time to herself then I can't deny her that. After all I only want what is best for my darling, I want her to be happy.

She hasn't contacted me since but I see the sort of stuff she likes on social media and recently it's been a lot of marriage and family oriented stuff. Also things we both talked about wanting one day. And most of all posts about "right person, wrong time".

I haven't contacted her either because I don't want to pressure her and lose her forever. I want to give it time after all she is kind of yandere too and her breaking things off was very out of character and sudden. I'm convinced she'll come back to me eventually. It's hard to just wait though, I want to go out and do something to win her back but everyone around me is telling me to just not say or do anything.

How would you all handle this situation? Am I really doing the right thing by doing nothing and focusing on growing and healing myself first right now?

Just wondering who here has already found their special someone, reciprocal or not. And what it is that made you choose them.

I'm interested to know how it compares to me.

When I found her, what immediately drew me in was that we seemed to be on the same wavelength, the same attachment style and the way her eyes made me feel like I was falling just by looking at them. Of course there is more but for here I'll keep it short and sweet.