My boyfriend asked to close the relationship, and I don't want to.
I feel terrible about not being able to go along with what he wants right now, especially since we’ve just come through a rough patch in the relationship. He believes that getting involved with other people during these tense, difficult times could hurt us. I think the opposite: that being with *only* him right now and feeling "trapped" is what will actually affect me negatively.
But those difficult times were actually a domino effect triggered by him hurting me deeply—basically, he told me I was too fat and he wasn't attracted to me after I’d gained just 8kg (starting from a weight of 50kg), all while I was grieving the deaths of two people very close to me. After that, I felt like I couldn't forgive him, but... honestly, I love him. He showed genuine remorse, apologized, and understood why what he did was wrong. Getting back to the open relationship issue: it makes me sad that he’s asking for exclusivity right now, just when I don't feel entirely comfortable sharing that side of things with him. For context: I’ve always identified as non-monogamous, whereas he is monogamous. I chose monogamy with him "for a while," but that period stretched into two years—not by my choice. I’d been asking to open the relationship since day one; he wouldn't say "no," but rather "yes... but later," or "I don't know... but yeah..." So, I kept hoping we’d open it up someday once he made up his mind... and eventually, he did.
Thanks, and sorry for the long post 💗